Mr. Boss Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Mr. Boss

View 901 - 910 results for mr. boss comic strips. Discover the best "Mr. Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Followship Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Wally's Work Life Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.

Bought His Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comparison, #comparing, #merger, #acquisition, #liquidation, #layoff, #redundancy, #big business, #competition, #darwin

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

Don't Harm The Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Harm The Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #drone, #artificial intelligence, #frustration, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Pay no attention to the drone. That's where I keep my artificial soul. It's still in beta, so please don't say anything that might harm it. Boss: Let's go around the room and give our project updates. Drone: Pow!

Alice Gives Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #purpose, #use, #useful, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll approve this if you get buy-in from the rest of the department. Dilbert: What value are you adding to that scenario? Boss: I'm not firing you. Dilbert: In that case, keep up the good work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypothetical, #worst-case scenario, #pessimism, #nightmare

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #catch-22, #fatigue, #accident, #driving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.

Mandatory Safety Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #catch-22, #choosing, #unsafe

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.