Not Good People Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Not Good People

View 901 - 910 results for not good people comic strips. Discover the best "Not Good People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #hire, #consultant, #raise morale, #pointless, #magic, #feel good, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to raise your morale by making you glad you're not him." Ratbert says, "No one loves me. My life is pointless. I eat old soap." The Boss says, "Now let the magic begin." Dilbert says, "I feel good about not eating old soap." Ratbert says, "Cha!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #e-mail, #urgent, #sitting, #desk, #computer, #flames, #eclipse, #cell phone, #witless protection program, #hoax, #duped, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #futurists, #baby boomers, #retire, #coffee, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Futurists say that when baby boomers start retiring in big numbers, you won't be able to fill critical job openings." Wally says, "If you agree to let me slack off now, I'll give you a few good years when I'm sixty." The Boss says, "What if you renege?" Wally says, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accoutning, #crawling, #hole, #creature, #bureacracy, #unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "Groan" Accounting Dilbert says, "I'd like to see someone about my rejected expense report." Creature says, "The problem is that you didn't submit a receipt for your bridge toll." Dilbert says, "Or maybe the problem is that you have a joyless, dead-end job." Dilbert says, "ANd your boss doesn't allow you to use your own judgement because working here is proof that you don't make good decisions." Creature says, "Actually, I was going to approve it." Dilbert says, "You don't have to get an attitude about it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doubting, #challenge, #bible, #god, #scare, #planned, #Religion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy, #not working, #admitting, #patience

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I think my single point of contact died." Wally says, "I haven?t heard from him for three months. I don't know the name of his projec or any other people on it." The Boss says, "What have you been doing for three months?" Wally says, "Are you implying that patience is not a virtue?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quantifying, #liar, #thief, #overseeing work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Maybe someone can help you quantify the value of your research and development work." Dilbert says, "The only people who can quantify the value of researcg are liars and morons." The Boss says, "Maybe we could hire a consultant." DIlbert says, "That just turns a liar into a thief."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #club, #bad decisions, #embarassed, #disguise, #mustache

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's society for people who always make bad decisions." Dogbert says, "I'd like to thank each of you for choosing the platinum stain protection plan with your membership dues." Dogbert says, "If your reputations gets stained by being in this group, the brochure will teach you how grow a mustache disguise." <Man says, "What if I already have one?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #support group, #gullible, #tricking, #leader, #controlling, #uniforms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm forming a support group for people who always make bad choices." Ratbert says, "Count me in!" Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to organize the whole thing for me." Ratebrt says, "I'd like that, and I don't know why." Dogbert says, "I want everyone to wear uniforms and chant my name." Ratbert says, "Is it just me, or does this keep getting better?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #television, #shows, #options, #action movie, #cooking show, #content, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Well, we can watch a cooking show and imagine what delicious food tastes like?" Dilbert says, "Or an action movie so we can imagine killing people while cracking jokes." Dilbert says, "Maybe I can reword those choices to make us feel less like psychopathic hobos." Dogbert says, "Please do."