Same People Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Same People

View 901 - 910 results for same people comic strips. Discover the best "Same People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation, #cubicle, #air duct, #facilities, #chip out penguin, #cold, #cooler

View Transcript

Transcript

"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rehired, #alice back, #dulled instincts, #first day abck, #business picking up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watching tv, #news anchors, #report, #tv cameras, #shows, #evil or stupid, #heart disease, #stupid, #banter, #stinks

View Transcript

Transcript

TV Anchorman: Researchers have proven that working with evil or stupid people causes heart disease. Ha Ha! I wonder if the amount of stupidness makes a difference. Your witty banter stinks today.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job applaicants, #new batch, #500 qualified people, #who wants job, #pummel each applicat, #very soft itmes, #harder materials, #sugar doughnut, #their attitudes, #upbeat

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #downsized candidate, #alice glad, #boss thanks wally, #ride to church, #on good side

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #forward to ted, #email, #solved problems, #project, #being rude, #remove from project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.