Service Business Comic Strips - Page 91
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 901 - 910 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 17,
2014
Tags interviews, human resources, random statements, ostriches eye, bigger than brain, randomness, confession, job interview, approved questions, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm only allowed to ask interview questions that have been approved by Human Resources. And they haven't approved any yet. So all I can do is make random statements. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Interviewee: So is mine!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday April 10,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business
Transcript
Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.
Tuesday April 08,
2014
Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!
Thursday April 03,
2014
Tags avoiding, employees, frustration, managers & supervisors, nothing going right, avoid, business
Transcript
Boss: Uh-oh. Alice: Guess what's going right for me today. Nothing!!! Boss: I usually do a better job of avoiding them when they have problems.
Thursday March 27,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, stress, consultant, booze muhkidney, travel work, unhealthy food, total failure, sleepless nights, power point slides, business
Transcript
Consultant: All I do is travel, work, and eat unhealthy food. I'm a total failure at managing my own life, and yet people hire me for business advice. I haven't slept since October. Dilbert: I was told there would be PowerPoint slides. Consultant from Booze Muhkidney
Wednesday March 26,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, stress, consultant, booze muhkidney, business travel, nightmare, business
Transcript
Boss: I hired a consultant from the respected firm Booz Muhkidney. Consultant: My life is a nightmare of business travel, loneliness, and sleep deprivation. I'm only 25 years old! Boss: It's a travel day. He'll calm down after he drinks lunch.
Saturday March 22,
2014
Tags anxiety, employees, hiring and budget problem, perfromance review, three people, will resign, slightest criticism, pre google thinking, business
Transcript
Alice: Before we start my performance review, I should remind you that it would take three people to replace me. And I will resign at the slightest criticism, leaving you with a huge hiring and budget problem. Boss: This was supposed to make you nervous, not me. Alice: That think is so pre-Google.
Thursday March 20,
2014
Tags employees, work ethic, managers should hire, clear expectations, micromanaging, employee engement, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.
Sunday March 09,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, fusion powered robot, speed of light, budget, micromanaged, leadership, needy followers, business
Transcript
Boss: Great leaders set high standards and stay out of the way. So... I want you to build a fusion-powered robot that can run faster than the speed of light! While you're doing that, I'll be staying out of your way. You won't see or hear from me. I won't even respond to email. Dilbert: Is there a budget for this impossible project? Boss: Sheesh! Look who needs to be micromanaged! Now I can't go hide. You've ruined my leadership! Boss: It's hard to be a great leader when all of my followers are so needy.
Thursday March 06,
2014
Tags employees, optimism, flattened management structure, uptick in fork attacks, insider trading, benefits, stock portfolio up, sciatica better, business
Transcript
CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.

