Shareholder Meeting Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

932 Results for Shareholder Meeting

View 901 - 910 results for shareholder meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Shareholder Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #break, #restroom, #mingle, #dryer, #delay, #impenitrable, #agenda, #alone, #Dogbert, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #the boss, #change, #lowered, #expenses, #increased, #revenues, #financial, #situation, #blinding, #flash, #obvious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #science, #tools, #metal detector, #park, #buried, #plates, #jillion, #scientific curiosity, #phone, #numbers, #reproduce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I discovered a new tool for meeting women." Dogbert asks, "A metal detector?" Dilbert says, "Exactly, I'll be nonchalantly using it in the park . . ." Dogbert asks, "And you'll find buried women who have metal plates in their heads?" Dilbert replies, "Don't be ridiculous. The odds of finding a live one are about a jillion to one." Dilbert says, "No, I plan to appeal to women's natural scientific curiosity." Dilbert continues, "They'll stike up conversations about how the metal detector works . . . And where they can buy one." Dilbert continues, "Ooh, I'd better bring a note pad to write down all the phone numbers." Dogbert says, "On one paw, I want to help him. On the other paw, maybe it's better if he doesn't ever reproduce."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #afraid, #the boss, #decade, #natural, #body, #rhythms, #employees, #reach, #mental, #low, #best, #avoid, #activity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dating, #service, #deep, #down, #fantasy, #woman, #modelled, #brochure, #francis, #kris

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Dating Service." A man says, "I'd like to sign up." The customer continues, "Although deep down I know that all of the people in your service are men, I cling to the fantasy of meeting the woman who modeled for your brochure." Dogbert says, "She's taken, but I can match you with somebody named 'Francis' or 'Kris.'" The man replies, "There's hope!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #agenda, #specific, #emotional, #statements, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for coming. There's no specific agenda for this meeting . . ." Ted continues, "As usual, we'll just make unrelated emotional statements about things which bother us. I'll kick it off . . ." Ted throws his head back and yells, "There's never time to get any work done around here!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Men, #hair, #head, #combing, #grow, #ear, #clueless, #people, #employee, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

A man sits at a conference table with two co-workers. He thinks, "I'm feeling confident today with what appears to be a full head of hair." The man thinks, "Nobody suspects that I'm actually combing the hair that grows in my ears over the top of my otherwise bald head." The man thinks, "It's amazing how clueless these people are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #link, #arms, #stimulate, #dna, #structure, #celebrity, #random

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "Since this is the first time you've been to a Mensa meeting, I'll explain a few things." The man continues, "When the music stops we all link arms to simulate the DNA structure of a featured celebrity." The man says quietly, "To be honest, I think a lot of it is just random."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #geniuses

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head answers the door wearing a bathrobe and says, "Uh . . . Hi, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "Hi. I'm here for my first Mensa meeting of geniuses." The man says, "It's at 5 P.M., not 5 A.M." Dilbert walks away thinking, "Bad start."