Sit Down Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sit Down

View 901 - 910 results for sit down comic strips. Discover the best "Sit Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babies, Dilbert, Dogbert, instruction, book, newborn, expert, cheese steak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dilbert asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing an instruction book for newborn babies." Dilbert says, "You don't know anything about babies." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I'm not an expert, but compared to the people who have babies . . ." A man holds a baby upside down. A woman holding a sandwich asks, "Which end do I put the cheese steak in?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, Dilbert, video game, plateau, Kids, outside, diversify, pollute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alien, Dilbert, Dogbert, space, television, leaders, world, world domination, parking space, elevator, reckless, prank, translator

View Transcript

Transcript

A television news reporter says into her microphone, "The leaders of the world met today to consider the demands of Dogbert the Space Alien." At the United Nations, a world leader says, "All in favor of letting the alien run the world raise your hand." The caption says, "Meanwhile in the translators' booth, a reckless prank is being played." Three translators with headsets sit at a table. One translator says, "He says, 'Who wants my parking space by the elevator?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, science, tools, metal detector, park, buried, plates, jillion, scientific curiosity, phone, numbers, reproduce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I discovered a new tool for meeting women." Dogbert asks, "A metal detector?" Dilbert says, "Exactly, I'll be nonchalantly using it in the park . . ." Dogbert asks, "And you'll find buried women who have metal plates in their heads?" Dilbert replies, "Don't be ridiculous. The odds of finding a live one are about a jillion to one." Dilbert says, "No, I plan to appeal to women's natural scientific curiosity." Dilbert continues, "They'll stike up conversations about how the metal detector works . . . And where they can buy one." Dilbert continues, "Ooh, I'd better bring a note pad to write down all the phone numbers." Dogbert says, "On one paw, I want to help him. On the other paw, maybe it's better if he doesn't ever reproduce."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beaver, Dogbert, shortcuts, tricks, work, daytime, planner, organize, efficiently, sit, bad

View Transcript

Transcript

Beaver: When you're a lazy beaver, you try to find shortcuts and tricks to get your work done. I got this daytime planner to organize my day efficiently. But all it does is sit there. Dogbert: Looks like you got a bad one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, elbonia, fox, killed, rebel, leader, code, name, piglet, hamster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "In Elbonia, the rebel leader known as 'The Fox' was killed." The newscaster continues, "By Elbonian law, his killer becomes the new rebel leader. We do not know his code name yet." In Elbonia, three Elbonians confront Dilbert. One of them says, "We've narrowed it down to either 'The Piglet' or 'The Hamster.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, elbonians, leader, rebel, diplomat, peace, mission, rock, pig, varnish, clams, break

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, waiter, hair, soup, date, men and woman, served, integrity, analysis, comparison, tough, waiters, restaurant, own, lab, problems, hairy, Food, clumps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup." The waiter says, "It looks like one of yours. I'm sure it wasn't there when I served it." Dilbert says angrily, "It is NOT one of mine!" The waiter replies, "Sir! You insult my integrity!" The waiter says, "I shall send the hair to our lab for analysis." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough." The waiter pulls out some of Dilbert's hair and says, "They'll need a clump of your hair for comparison." Dilbert cries, "Ouch!" Dilbert tells the woman, "You have to be tough with these waiters or else they'll walk all over you." The woman asks, "Does it seem odd to you that the restaurant has it's own lab?" Dilbert replies, "They must have a lot of problems with hairy food." The waiter returns and says, "The lab says they need a few more clumps of your hair . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, office, decide, kill, floyd, budget, manager, lover, killer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock. Dilbert says, "The guys in the office decided that somebody must kill Floyd the budget manager because he's so mean to us." Dilbert continues, "They want ME To kill him. But I can't do it. I'm a LOVER, not a killer." Dogbert replies, "Technically, you're neither." Dilbert asks, "Is that MY fault?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, dinosaur, bob, theory, denigrate, superior, comparison, stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Bob the Dinosaur sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My problem is that other people keep trying drag me down, Bob." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that people denigrate me because it makes them feel superior in comparison." Bob replies, "Sounds like a stupid theory to me."