Apply For Job Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

947 Results for Apply For Job

View 901 - 910 results for apply for job comic strips. Discover the best "Apply For Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Complaining Versus Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Sabotage The Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sabotage The Plan  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #plan, #sabatoge, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.

Teach Employees To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Teach Employees To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #computers, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

Thankless Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

Asok's Employee Engagement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.

Asok In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #coma, #dopamine

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.