Business People Comic Strips - Page 91
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1000 Results for Business People
View 901 - 910 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 10,
1993
Tags Dilbert, laptop, computers, outdated, fingernail, models, glue, permanently, fingers
Transcript
A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."
Saturday March 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, money, engineer, easy, responsibility, math
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the checkout counter. The clerk at the cash register says, "That's $1.89." Dilbert hands him money and says, "Just for simplicity, I'll give you $7.14." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "As an engineer, I feel a professional reponsibility to make things easy for people." The cashier looks confused as he thinks, ". . . Carry the three."
Thursday April 15,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, testosterone, level, tailgate, problem, trying
Transcript
Wally shows Dilbert a pickup truck and says, "Maybe it's because of my high testosterone levels, but I couldn't resist getting my pickup jacked up." Wally says, "I thought it would be more frightening to the people I tailgate." As he jumps into the truck and wiggles his legs, Wally says, "The only problem is that you can't let people see you trying to get in it."
Saturday April 17,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, complain, vote, logical, bumper
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And people who don't bother to vote have no right to complain." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert replies, "Why not? It's obvious. No vote means no right to complain. You can't get much more logical than that." Dilbert says, "Besides, that's how I was raised." Dogbert asks, "You were raised by bumper stickers?"
Wednesday April 28,
1993
Tags Dilbert, tragic, story, update, reported, killed, weather, Sports, injury, news, drove, pedestrian
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."
Friday April 30,
1993
Tags Dogbert, news, jobs, billion, owls, asteroid, coincidence, researchers, television, device, idiots
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert's good news show." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "Nine out of ten people have jobs . . . Three billion people had a nice day today . . . And the forest has plenty of owls." The caption says, "Regular news show." A news anchor says, "A huge asteroid could destroy earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries." The other reporter yells, "We'll all die!!" The caption says, "Back to Dogbert . . ." Dogbert holds a remote control and says, "In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off of your television screen."
Wednesday May 05,
1993
Tags Dilbert, mannequin, store, retail, clerk, avoidance, name tag
Transcript
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Some people might be fooled by your pretending to be a store mannequin." The man stares straight ahead and stands still. Dilbert continues, "But I saw you hide your name tag. I know you're a retail clerk who is trying to avoid helping me." Dilbert yells, "Hey! You're moving toward the 'employees only' door. Stop it! You won't get away with this!!" The clerk thinks, "Ten more feet."
Friday May 07,
1993
Tags Dilbert, pants, twelve-inch, waist, inches, secret, retail, success, merchandise, shop, harder, retail store
Transcript
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."
Friday May 21,
1993
Tags company, headquarters, plan, employees, offer, deceptively, retire, Wally, alice, calculate, cosine
Transcript
At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."
Tuesday June 08,
1993
Tags Dogbert, broadcast, message, computer, geeks, declare, leader, empire, virtiual, electronic, venod, exploiting, leadership, tradition
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."


