Hired Back Comic Strips - Page 91

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924 Results for Hired Back

View 901 - 910 results for hired back comic strips. Discover the best "Hired Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

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Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, telemedicine, time, doctor, health, pain, rake, leaves, medicine

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dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Boss Hires Stalker

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Boss Hires Stalker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, technology, working, remote, stalker, window, homes

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boss on video conference with dilbert and wally. boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely. dilbert sitting in arm chair listening boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day. wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt: sorry. that's on me.

Ted And His Laptop

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Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology

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boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...

Audit Blackmail

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Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Asok Isolates Too Well

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Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

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wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!

Pandemic Vacation Days

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Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company policy, video conference, vacation day, vacation, company rule, pandemic, go, solve, problem, laptop

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boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Dilbert Interrupts Women

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Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, discrimination, office workers, interrupt, woman, sense, nincompoop, babble, pattern

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tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Dick The Nemesis

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Dick The Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, hire, nemesis, social media, bad, idea, doubt, science, workplace

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boss: i hired dick to be your workplace nemesis. you might know his work from social media. dilbert: this feels like a bad idea. dick: doubt science much? duhrr.

Dick Tells A Rumor

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Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, workplace, coworkers, people, gossip, malice, slander, pointless, pain, nemesis, office workers

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dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Work From Home Or Office

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Work From Home Or Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness

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boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.