Never Appear Less Valuable Comic Strips - Page 91

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956 Results for Never Appear Less Valuable

View 901 - 910 results for never appear less valuable comic strips. Discover the best "Never Appear Less Valuable" comics from Dilbert.com.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

The Consultant

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The Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boss, #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #judgement

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Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?

Ron Moore

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Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

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Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Casserole For Pot Luck

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Casserole For Pot Luck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen

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tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.

Microaggressions

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Microaggressions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #human resources, #micro aggressions, #hire, #engineer

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catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

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Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour

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dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.

Help Me With Something

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Help Me With Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #compensation, #system, #incentive, #budget, #limit, #smart, #business

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male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.