Office Efficency Comic Strips - Page 91

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997 Results for Office Efficency

View 901 - 910 results for office efficency comic strips. Discover the best "Office Efficency" comics from Dilbert.com.

High Fives

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High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing

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Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

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Mumble Ventriloquists

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Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, boss, meetings, office workers, sarcasm, dumb

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Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

Virus Hellscape

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Virus Hellscape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, diseases, office workers, virus, pandemic

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Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.

Boss Is In A High Risk Group

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Boss Is In A High Risk Group - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, health & safety, office workers, sarcasm, virus, pandemic, risk

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Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.

Wally Borrows Money

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Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing

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Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Wally Has Symptoms

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Wally Has Symptoms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lie, office workers, sickness, pandemic, virus

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Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.

Face Mask Assissination

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Face Mask Assissination - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, office workers, suspicion, pandemic, virus, risk

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Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.

Bead Of Sweat

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Bead Of Sweat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, idea, nervous, office workers, sickness, virus, paranoia, pandemic

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Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.