Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 91
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 901 - 910 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 05,
2009
Tags demon, marketing, confusion, anger, price, customer, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our new director of marketing is an angry demon of some sort." The Boss says, "He's in charge of making our prices impossible for customers to understand." Woman says, "What the #%!* kind of price is "it depends"? Asok says, "He makes me say these things."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday December 22,
2009
Tags honeymoon, lying, business, marriage, comparing, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our customer is asking for features we can't possibly deliver." The Boss says, "Say we can. We'll disappoint them later when it's too late to back out." Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like when you compare things to their honeymoons."
Wednesday December 30,
2009
Tags communicating, vague, ignoring, meeting, stare, nonsensical, business
Transcript
Morgan:The man with no communication skills Morgan says, "They decided to do option one." Dilbert says, "Who is "they"? What is option one? And are they testing or implementing?" Morgan says, "You just earned yourself a creepy stare until the topic changes." The Boss says, "Okay, moving on..."
Sunday February 13,
2011
Tags honesty, less meetings, less micromangemt, managers & supervisors, meetings, more meetings, more with less, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"
Sunday February 27,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, new server, corrupt operating system, bad server, recover data, reinstall, redeploy it, blindingly obvious, alternative is chaos, chaos as good, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"
Sunday May 29,
2011
Tags business ethics, quarreling, major fix, html, website, award, improves morale, glaoting, winner, technology
Transcript
Boss: This award goes to Dilbert for coming up with a major fix to our HTML. Dilbert: I didn't do anything like that. You must be thinking of someone else. Do you even know what HTML is? Boss: It's like... a website? Dilbert: So... you're giving an award for something you don't understand... to someone who wasn't involved? Boss: What I meant to say is that I give this award to... Alice... for... what she did. Alice: Yes! Envy me, you stinkin' losers! Boss: I don't know why people say this improves morale. Asok: I fixed the HTML!
Tuesday March 01,
2011
Tags business ethics, environmental issues, managers & supervisors, government nagging, rid of waste, motivational paper weight, nice going, avoid licking, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."
Thursday March 03,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, mobile (cell) phones, app, awesome, don't fire me, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, there's an app for you." Cellphone says, "Waa-waa! Don't fire me!" The Boss says, "How awesome is that?"
Wednesday March 09,
2011
Tags avarice, managers & supervisors, wages, open minded, worst idea, hostory, not give raise, business, money
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."
Sunday January 20,
2008
Tags human resources, hr person, evil director, bad attitude, project, corpse of misery, donated brain, gum museum, mental imbalance, clarity, irrational, employee moral festival, won meeting, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.

