Tapped Out Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Tapped Out

View 901 - 910 results for tapped out comic strips. Discover the best "Tapped Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #office workers, #meaningful work, #gone for a week, #labor camp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #road map, #strengthen core, #real work, #manage, #waste inspiration

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we need to follow our startegy road map and strengthen our core to become the provider of choice. Dilbert: Do you mind if I go do some real work whole you stay here and mange your brains out? Dilbert: I don't want to waste all of you inspiration you just gave me. Alice: snort.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #table tennis, #ping pong table, #central area, #disrupt floor, #questioning motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Let's get a ping-pong table so we look like a great place to work. Put it in a central area that will disrupt the entire floor if anyone uses it. I just realized that I don't know why noise comes out of my mouth.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #mole, #secret, #undercover, #hidden, #blended, #rodent, #animal, #mouselike

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corner, #cubilce, #door, #fantasy, #nutrients, #office, #replacement, #giant mushroom

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?