Think Alike Comic Strips - Page 91

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1000 Results for Think Alike

View 901 - 910 results for think alike comic strips. Discover the best "Think Alike" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #committees, #frustration, #agreement with plan

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The Noncommittal Committee Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #employees, #business

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Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #optimism, #positive influences, #bad energy

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Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #vendor, #software patch, #installed, #add value, #tested, #business

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Boss: Ask the vendor if they have a software patch to fix our problem. Dilbert: I already asked for the patch, installed it, and thoroughly tested in in production. Boss: I think I'll go add value someplace else. Dilbert: That's a good place to do it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #judge them, #chipmunk, #judge algebra, #complex and useful, #innovative circuit design, #engineer, #office setting, #desks, #computers, #engineering

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Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition, #science

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Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #employees, #hiring and budget problem, #perfromance review, #three people, #will resign, #slightest criticism, #pre google thinking, #business

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Alice: Before we start my performance review, I should remind you that it would take three people to replace me. And I will resign at the slightest criticism, leaving you with a huge hiring and budget problem. Boss: This was supposed to make you nervous, not me. Alice: That think is so pre-Google.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #loneliness, #accomplishments, #job interview, #hnesty, #wrong motives, #employment, #make a difference, #catatonic

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Boss: Describe your biggest accomplishment from your last job. Interviewee: I made some phone calls and stuff. I think I made a difference. Boss: Do you want this job? Interviewee: Nah. Just lonely.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #origin story, #company, #need, #various things, #clear, #boss, #request, #office, #request secretary, #write up story, #business

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Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #business plan, #corporate dysfunction, #dishonesty, #incompetence, #longer, #lumbering monument, #seeking feedback, #more of the same

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Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?