Being A Woman Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for being a woman comic strips. Discover the best "Being A Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Something About Asok Was Wrong

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Something About Asok Was Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #leadership, #managers, #frustration, #humor

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Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Yoga For Posture

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Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yoga, #posture, #dating, #attraction, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #fitbit, #hackers, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #spying, #surveillance, #technology, #relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Trust Yet Verify

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Trust Yet Verify - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #philosopher, #oxymoron, #micromanaging

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Boss: I believe in the old Ronald Reagan saying that you should "trust, but verify." That's why I empower you, yet I micromanage. Alice: What the...? Boss: Don't hate me for being philosophical.

Asok Needs Money And Social Life

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Asok Needs Money And Social Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ride share, #rideshare, #uber, #driver, #taxi, #job, #business

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Asok: I have no social life and I need extra money. What should I do? Wally: You're one Prius away from being an Uber driver. Narrator: Continued.

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

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Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up, #medical

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Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber

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Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experience, #guest artist, #introspection, #john glynn, #wisdom

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Asok: Now that I have tasted the sweet freedom of being an Uber driver, how can I go back to this life? Wally: Try looking deep within yourself, Asok. Asok: You are even wiser than usual. Wally: You'll need a flashlight and yoga lessons.

Trapped Under Rubble

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Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.