Says Thanks Comic Strips - Page 92
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1000 Results for Says Thanks
View 911 - 920 results for says thanks comic strips. Discover the best "Says Thanks" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, Family, meeting, show, minutes, tie, baby, break, vote
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "The minutes from the last family meeting show that all the votes were a one-one tie." Dilbert continues, "One of us will have to have a baby so we can break these ties." Dogbert replies, "I vote that you have the baby."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday December 18,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, build, news, voice, work, reading
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. A voice says, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert thinks, "A voice . . ." The voice repeats, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert says, "Okay, but build what?" Dogbert hides behind Dilbert's chair. Dogbert says in the voice, "I'll have to get back to you . . . I didn't think this would work."
Thursday December 19,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, newspaper, critic, ordinary, people, star, dog, sniffing, symbol
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've become a newspaper critic." Dilbert asks, "Of what?" Dogbert replies, "I criticize ordinary people . . . I started with you." Dilbert says, "Hey, here it is . . ." Dilbert asks, "What's this little symbol mean?" Dogbert replies, "That's a dog sniffing himself . . . It's like getting one star."
Friday December 20,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, nardo, old country, personal space, hands, pockets
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert, "Uh-oh, Nardo is coming. I'm out of here." Nardo and Dilbert stand nose-to-nose. Dilbert says, "Uh, hi, Nardo." Nardo says, "In the old country we did not have what you call personal space." Dilbert says, "Take your hands out of my pockets." Nardo says, "Oh, I get it. They're for your use only, right?"
Saturday December 21,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, chess, bishop, rook, friend, queen, uzi, purse, slays, scrabble, man
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."
Monday December 23,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, emplopyees, empowered, decisions, empowerment, concept, productive, fired, work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"
Tuesday December 24,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, empowered, decisions, cubicle, revenue, generating, tourist, attraction, business, sticky note, city
Transcript
Dilbert asks Wally, "Have you made any decisions since the Boss made us all 'empowered?'" Wally replies, "Just one." Wally says, "I turned my cubicle into a revenue generating tourist attraction." Wally continues, "So far, business has been slow at 'Sticky-Note City.'" A building made of Post-it Notes stands next to Wally's cubicle.
Wednesday December 25,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, invented, auto petter, machine, dumbest, idea
Transcript
Dilbert holds a device and says to Dogbert, "I invented an auto-petter machine for you." Dilbert straps the machine to Dogbert's back. The auto-petter has a hand that rests on Dogbert's head. Dogbert says, "This is perhaps your dumbest idea ever." Dilbert starts the device and kneels on the floor in front of Dogbert. Dilbert says, "You like it. Admit it." Dogbert says, "Leave us alone."
Thursday December 26,
1991
Tags blame, budget, Dilbert, the boss, empowered, decisions, employees, calculated, risks, new, Word
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."
Friday December 27,
1991
Tags Dilbert, date, new, system, evaluating, check, boxes, Card, night, dinged, point, nervous, twitch, head, block, bucket
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"