Think About It Comic Strips - Page 92

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society

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Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agenda, #project meeting, #two hours, #temporaily sane, #repeat mission statement

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Carol hands Alice a document and says, "Alice, here's the agenda for the next project meeting." Alice shouts, "Two hours?!! Aaagh!!! There's only ten minutes' worth of tasks!!" Alice thinks, "Uh-oh. I think I'm temporarily sane." Carol says, "Try breathing into a paper bag and repeating our mission statement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupid, #ignorant, #being narrow minded

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Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I was trying to decide if you're stupid or just very ignorant." Dogbert says, "Then I thought, 'Whoa, Dogbert, you're being narrow-minded about this.'" Dogbert says, "You could easily be both." Dilbert replies, "It only LOOKS easy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil, #executed, #hr driector, #ill be fired, #internet, #non buiness, #personal thoughts, #sadistic policies, #senseless, #warning, #mass email, #technology

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Any employee who uses the Internet for non-business purposes will be fired." Catbert types, "And any employee who sits in a company chair while having a personal thought will be executed by security." Catbert smiles and thinks, "The great thing about senseless, sadistic policies is that they don't require a lot of explanation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #meeting, #obvious generalities, #revenue for profit, #run by artits, #small businesses, #business

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Dilbert lies on the couch reading. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a consultant in the field of obvious generalities." Dogbert explains, "I'll work for small businesses that are run by artists. They'll think I'm brilliant, which I am." Dogbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. The man, who has a goatee, says, "Whoa! Are you saying we need REVENUE to make profit??" The woman says, "Ouch! I've got a headache on one side."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #boss, #information, #being followed, #cloud of doom

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you'd tell me everything you know about it." The Boss replies, "I've already told you more than I know." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I feel like I'm being followed." A cloud labeled "doom" follows Dilbert.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud of doom, #zaps everyone, #once a minute, #past behavior, #indication of future, #won't happen again

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Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer bad news, #wally fired, #videos, #stealing stuff, #one percent raise

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Dogbert says, "Wally, your boss asked me to tell you . . ." Dogbert shouts, "You're fired!!! And they have secret videos of you stealing stuff!!!" Wally looks shocked and his tie stands up straight. Wally covers his eyes and says, "This can't be true." Dogbert replies, "It's not. But watch how happy you are when I tell you about your one percent raise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project caribou, #walls project, #final design, #now, #Wally, #thimble, #morale in thimble

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Give me a final design for Project Caribou by Tuesday." Dilbert replies, "That's Wally's project." The Boss says, "I know, but I'm thinking about it now and Wally isn't in the room." The Boss says, "Tell Wally it's your project now." Dilbert says, "Do you see this thimble? I keep my morale in it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ego, #pointy haired boss, #standing in offcie, #thimble sized morale, #tic tac container, #protect

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Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So our pointy-haired boss put me in charge of your project . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Because I was standing in his office when he thought about the project." Dilbert says, "If it makes you feel better, you can keep your morale in this thimble with mine." Wally replies, "I keep mine in a 'Tic Tac' container with my ego."