New Green Technology Comic Strips - Page 92
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The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."
The Boss says, "Andy has been appointed our director of green." Dilbert says, "Director of green? How do you get a job like that?" Andy says, "You start by being the director of something else and screwing it up."
Director of Green Andy says, "We should rethink our product packaging." The Boss says, "What's wrong with it?" Andy says, "We're using endangered species." The Boss says, "Only the unpopular ones." Andy says, "Still, it's a lot of packaging for a DVD."
Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."
An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."
Wally says, "I got an Elbonian makeover. Now no one can tell I'm bald and chinless." Wally says, "The hat even makes me look taller. I think this will help my career." Wally says, "Take a minute to drink this in." An Elbonian says, "I just found my new VP of finance!"
Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."