Sex With Birds Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sex With Birds

View 911 - 920 results for sex with birds comic strips. Discover the best "Sex With Birds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #java coding, #raise salary, #spinning head, #10 years experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager training, #same room, #decison, #illustrate point, #puppet show, #blamesville, #manager meg

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor says, "Never be in the same room as a decision." A diagram labeled "Decision" shows a person running and the label, "You." The Boss and two other pointy-haired managers sit and listen. The instructor says, "I'll illustrate my point with a puppet show that I call..." The instructor holds two hand puppets and says, "Journey to Blameville, starring Suggestion Sam and Manager Meg."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manger training, #comment, #contain nonsense, #implementation

View Transcript

Transcript

The instructor says, "You will often be asked to comment on things you don't understand." The instructor draws a large question mark on a tablet with a marker. The instructor says, "These handouts contain nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation. The Boss and the other pointy-haired managers take the papers. In a meeting with Wally and Dilbert, the Boss says, "...So, let's dominate our industry... with quality implementation of methodologies." Wally says, "I'll get right on it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing dept, #engineering dept, #other engineers, #careless mistake, #need nets, #rope, #tranquilizer darts, #askengineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Marketing Department: A guy walks by a table and says, "Hey! It's a magazine!" He reaches for it. Engineering Department: A loud speaker says, "Danger! A magazine has been discovered in marketing!" Alice looks scared. Alice pokes her head into Dilbert cubicle and says, "Marketing has a magazine!" Dilbert gasps and his hair stands on end. Dilbert heads for the War Room. He says, "Gather the other engineers. We must get that magazine." Alice says, "Check." Dilbert says to Alice, Asok and Wally, "We think is was a careless mistake by someone in the mail department." Dilbert says, "As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge." Dilbert points to a diagram on the dry-erase board. He says, "We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope and traquilizer darts." The marketing guy starts to enter the men's restroom as a darts flies towards his neck. He thinks, "I'll have to ask engineering to build one of these space staions..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cobol, #cobol code, #glaciers, #vast experience, #rewrite, #incharge, #dinosaur, #intern, #meteor kill

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok and Bob, "You two will be in charge of rewriting our COBOL code to fix the millenium problem." The Boss puts his arm on Asok's shoulder and says, "I realize you've never worked on COBOL before, Asok. That's why I'm teaming you with Bob, so you can learn from his vast experience." Bob and Asok sit at a computer. Asok says, "So, you recommend waiting for a meteor to kill us all." Bob says, "The glaciers are way too slow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle police, #living organisms, #stack of paper

View Transcript

Transcript

A policeman with a watchdog says to Wally, "I'm with the cubicle police. This is a safety violation. He points to a huge stack of papers. Wally says, "It's perfectly safe unless you tap it with a flashlight or a dog jumps on it." The stack of paper collapses on the cop and his little dog, too. Dilbert says, "This plays right into my theory that cubicles are living organisms."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stack of paper, #cubicle cop, #body, #enrolled, #workshop, #temporary solution, #three days

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I heard that a stack of your papers fell over and killed a cubicle cop." Alice says, "What did you do with the body?" Wally says, "I enrolled it in the quality workshop nextdoor." Dilbert says, "It's a temporary solution." Wally says, "The workshop is only three days."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcarts dating service, #Advice, #accomplishments;lishments, #hate men, #designated bragger, #humble, #potential problem, #makeup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is preparing for a date. He combs his hair. Dogbert sits on the bed and says, 'Women like men who have accomplishments. But they hate men who boast." Dogbert says, "I will be your designated bragger, allowing you to appear humble." Dilbert says, "One potential problem with this plan is that I have no accomplishments." Dogbert says, "If she isn't wearing makeup, we'll be honest, too." His tail wags.