Asok Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

927 Results for Asok

View 911 - 920 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #pointy haired boss, #speakerphone, #important engineer training, #talks back to speakerphone, #boss heard insults

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss will be joining us by speakerphone." Alice tells Asok, "This is an important part of your engineering trainig, Asok." Asok asks, "What do I do?" Wally explains, "When Alice presses the mute button, you make witty and sarcastic remarks." The phone rings. The Boss says, "Hello, everyone. I'd like to talk about the new compensation plan." Alice presses a button and points to Asok. Asok says, "Tell us some lies, you ugly, two-faced, hypocritical troll!" Asok continues, "I am Asok the Intern and I spit on your feeble compensation plan!" Asok continues, "I've found stuff on the bottom of my shoe that was smarter than you!!" He laughs. Dilbert and Asok walk out of the conference room. Dilbert says, "Next time, a bit wittier . . . And make sure Alice really presses the mute button."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #improvement, #document, #errors, #huge blinking red lights, #ambulance as warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. Asok tells her, "I found many areas for improvement in your document, Alice." Asok continues, "I'm only an intern, but these error stand out like huge, red, blinking lights." Asok continues, "You could put this on top of an ambulance as a warning." Alice rolls up her sleeve as if she is about to punch Asok. She says, "I was thinking the same thing about you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #trade show, #prodcuts, #defective, #stayed up, #setting booth

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "At the trade show." A man asks Alice, "What can you tell me about your products?" Alice replies, "Our products are defective, much like yourself." Alice tells Asok, "I probably shouldn't have stayed up all night setting up the booth." The man asks, "What are you doing later?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #administrative task, #beg for asisiatnace, #network administrator, #new password, #upgrading network, #forgotten password

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Dogbert, "I have forgotten my password. I humbly beg for assistance." Dogbert replies angrily, "I have no time for boring administrative tasks, you fool! I'm busy upgrading the network!" Asok says, "You could have give me a new password in the time it took to belittle me." Dogbert replies, "Yes, but which option would give me job satisfaction?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #all year, #asok the intern, #awards, #built unit, #design, #minor change, #weekend, #working, #half cost

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Asok the Intern." Dilbert, Alice, Asok and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I came in over the weekend and looked at the design you've been working with all year." Asok continues, "It turns out that you could have built the unit at half the cost with just one minor change." Asok continues, "Is it true I can win awards for this sort of thing?" Alice whispers to Wally, "Fetch the internapult."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lowly intern, #obvious solution, #clear buffers, #initialize link, #code patch, #memory leak, #salary, #twice as much, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #small fonts, #save disk space, #semi colons, #colons, #was fun, #new ideas, #next staff meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert listens as Asok says to the Boss, "My idea is that everyone should be required to use small fonts. That way we'll save disk space." Asok continues, "And I've noticed that many people use entire colons in situations where a semicolon would do just fine." As they walk away, Asok says to Dilbert, "You're right, that was fun." Dilbert replies, "The real fun is when he describes his new ideas at the next staff meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #automentor, #job staidsfaction, #massage, #accomplishments, #new job, #resume stain, #hopeless ness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Asok, "I won't always be around to be your mentor, Asok." Dilbert hands Asok a diskette and says, "So I've captured all of my career wisdom in this software, which I call the 'Automentor.'" Dilbert sits at his computer and asks, "Automentor, how can I achieve job satisfaction?" The computer replies, "Try giving yourself a massage in your cubicle." Asok asks, "Automentor, how can I make sure my accomplishments get noticed?" A picture of Dilbert is on the screen. The software replies, "That's not a problem at this company; nobody accomplishes anything." Asok asks, "Should I look for a new job?" The software replies, "Too late. They don't call this place the 'resume stain' for nothing." Asok stands behind Dilbert and asks, "How do you handle all the hopelessness?" Dilbert hums and replies, "I give it to the new guy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."