Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 92
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 911 - 920 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 17,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, sleeping & waking up, get up at 4am, successful people do, power nap, sound sbetter, than looks, business
Transcript
Boss: I got up at 4 a.m. because I heard it's what successful people do. Power nap! Wally: This sort of thing always sounds better than it looks.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday February 14,
2014
Tags anger, competition (psychology), employees, difficult coworkers, methods against me, need to know, counter neasures, learn tricks, business
Transcript
Alice: Can I sign up for a workshop on how to deal with difficult co-workers? People will be using those methods against me, and I need to know how to thwart their countermeasures. Boss: Will you leave my office if I say yes? Alice: Where did you learn that trick?!!
Thursday February 13,
2014
Tags deception, language, managers & supervisors, key to leadership, vague golas, jargon, wishful thinking, dumping work, whine about goals, better system, business
Transcript
Boss: The key to leadership is setting vague goals that are a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. That way, I can keep dumping work on you without hearing you whine that it doesn't fit with your goals. You have to admit, my system is better than whatever you're doing over there. Dilbert: Yup.
Tuesday February 11,
2014
Tags allegiance, patents, corporate secuirty, shadowy figure, secrets, offering, alternatives, repeat business
Transcript
Boss: If a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets, what should you do? Dilbert: How much is he offering? Boss: That shouldn't matter. Dilbert: How can I compare alternatives? Wally: Would there be any repeat business in this scenario? Corporate Security
Thursday February 06,
2014
Tags anger, stress, alice, computer, office, always stressed out, employees, introdcutions, glass box, reactions, warning, technology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.
Sunday February 02,
2014
Tags engineers, managers & supervisors, questioning, jeff bezos rule, rule of meetings, two pizzas, feed a meeting, eat two pizzas, zeros paradox, feed everyone, cheese bread, business
Transcript
Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?
Monday January 20,
2014
Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business
Transcript
Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!
Friday January 17,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, vendor, software patch, installed, add value, tested, business
Transcript
Boss: Ask the vendor if they have a software patch to fix our problem. Dilbert: I already asked for the patch, installed it, and thoroughly tested in in production. Boss: I think I'll go add value someplace else. Dilbert: That's a good place to do it.
Monday January 13,
2014
Tags employees, mental health, vision not money, mental problems, low self esteem, performance review, business
Transcript
Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.
Wednesday January 08,
2014
Tags emotional well being, hug, managers & supervisors, rodents, touch a rat, around neck, exercises, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I can increase your engagement by caring for your emotional well-being. I would give you a hug, but I'm afraid of getting whatever made you this way. But I am willing to touch a rat that touches you, and that's not nothing. Wally: Put it on my neck.


