Business Tactics Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for business tactics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Tactics" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #creature, #employee, #licks face, #meeting, #strategic alliance, #tongue, #business

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The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #emotional investment, #company, #families, #divorced, #single, #never been kissed, #mission accomplished, #business

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The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffee maker, #meeting, #not enough money, #raise, #too much, #budget, #business

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The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

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Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #computer, #convincing people, #desk, #evil director, #human resources, #nobel prize, #track record, #unix, #technology, #business

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Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit

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Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #virtualization, #project, #employees, #heavy thinking, #obstacles, #progress, #business

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The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #distraction, #meeting, #move, #office, #phone ring, #rug catch fire, #business

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Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss, #raise, #political capital, #business

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The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.