Home Computer Comic Strips - Page 92
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The Boss sits at his desk and says to Dilbert, "As you know, we're a sponsor for the Swedish women's swim team . . ." The Boss continues, "They're in town for a week, and all of the hotels are booked." The Boss asks, "Would you mind if they stayed at your house?" Dilbert looks surprised. The Boss hands Dilbert a check and says, "Naturally, we will pay all expenses and give you this $10,000 bonus." Dilbert looks at the check and thinks, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy." The Boss stands behind him holding a piece of string attached to the check. The Boss yanks the string and pulls the check out of Dilbert's hands. The Boss and two other people laugh at Dilbert. Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The embarrassing part is that it came so soon after the Swedish women's luge team prank."
Two aliens say to Dogbert, "Take us to your leader." Dogbert asks, "What kind of leader do you want . . .? Spiritual? Economic? Political? Military?" One alien asks, "Political?" The other replies, "Try it." Dogbert says, "Okay, do you want a city, county, state, federal or world political leader?" One alien says, "World . . . Definitely world." The other says, "Multiple choice is so easy." Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Trick question. There is no political leader of the world." Dogbert continues, "But over that hill is a grocery store that claims to be the price leader." Dilbert arrives at home wearing burned clothes and carrying a bag of groceries. He tells Dogbert, "The strangest thing happened at the grocery store." Dogbert says, "It's been a strange day."
Dilbert arrives at home wearing a backpack. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "We have completed our obligation to take a vacation." Dogbert walks in the door and says, "As usual, we hated every minute of it." Dilbert sits in a chair and Dogbert sits on his leg. Dilbert asks, "Why do we do it every year?" Dogbert replies, "My theory is that you're stupid."
Dilbert sits in a travel agency. The travel agent says, "I recommend a trip to 'Clyde Canyon' for your vacation." Dilbert looks at a brochure and asks, "What would I do there?" The travel agent responds, "You could look at the scenery . . . Take some pictures." Dilbert asks, "Can't I just look at the brochure and stay home?" The man replies, "Yeah, that's what I do."
A man with a stethoscope listens to Dilbert's breathing and says, "Cough." Dilbert coughs. The man says, "Sing 'Life is a Cabaret' like Liza Minneli." Dilbert asks, "Why?" The man replies, "I left my Sony Walkman at home."
Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert asks, "Has your electronic mail system made you more efficient?" Dilbert replies, "In a way." Dilbert explains, "Now I'm getting ignored at the speed of light." Dogbert says to the reader, "You can send electronic mail to us through the Prodigy system, care of Scott Adams, ID number mwpg@3a." The caption says, "Note: this strip is not affiliated with Prodigy in any way."
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. An announcer says, ". . . A revolutionary fitness discovery!" The announcer continues, "Melt pounds away with the 'Alpine Ski Machine.'" The announcer concludes, "No exercise required." Dilbert leaves the chair. Dilbert holds the telephone to his ear as the announcer says, "Dial 1-800 . . ." Dilbert accepts a package delivery. Dilbert stands in a pair of skis. He thinks, "I can't imagine how this melts away the pounds." Dilbert bends over and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't reach the release." Dilbert reaches for the refrigerator but the skis lock his feet in place.
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Heather, there's something I must tell you." Heather says, "Stop . . . Stop right there. I know what you're going to say." Heather continues, "Although it's our first date, you find yourself very attracted to me." Heather continues, "You are stunned by my grace and beauty, and you hope we can be more than friends." Heather continues, "Let me set you straight, Dilbert: this is a pity date. My standards are too high for you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I just wanted to tell you that your dress was tucked into the back of your pantyhose all night." Heather looks shocked. Back at home, Dogbert asks, "How was your date?" Dilbert replies, "Man, it doesn't get any better than that!"