How To Use Email Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for how to use email comic strips. Discover the best "How To Use Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #questions, #choices, #ridiculous, #harsh, #mean

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The Boss says, "How did the industry standards meeting go? The boss says, "Did you convince 83 companies to adopt standards that benefit only us while dooming the entire industry in the long run?" The boss says, "Or are you a complete failure?" Dilbert says, "Can I hear those choices again?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #telling, #story, #bored, #annoyed, #asking, #rude, #stupidity

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The Boss says, "And that was the last time I yanked a cable just to find out what would happen." Woman says, "How many inane stories do I have to hear before I can speak to someone who knows something?" The boss says, "She's a story hater."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #explaining, #project, #annoyed, #angry, #lazy, #wasting, #time, #business

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Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #remembering, #confused, #asking, #ridiculous

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The boss says, "I just forgot what it's like to be one of the little people." The boss says, "It's liberating because I have no empathy for your suffering." Dilbert says, "And how is this different?" The boss says, "Now I have a reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lying, #rumors, #angry, #screaming, #yelling, #distracting

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Wally says, "It's time to stir the soup." Wally says, "I think Ted is stealing." Wally says, "You know how sometimes you can't find things in your office?" The boss says, "Um?yes." Wally says, "That only happens on days when Ted has been in the building." Wally says, "and I think he was wearing a new sock the other day. Have you ever lost a sock?" The boss says, "He's been in my house?!" Wally says, "Either that or your wife and Ted have some sort of arrangement." The boss says ,"Ted..." Wally says, "It makes my lack of accomplishments seem unimportant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridiculous, #waste, #time, #pointing, #useless, #stupidity

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Man says, "Someone borrowed the unit you asked to see, so I'll show you pictures of models you aren't interested in." Man says, "There's one you don't want?And you sure don't want that one?" Dilbert says, "And how does this help?" Man says, "Would you like a CD of products we no longer carry?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #budget, #planning, #Advice, #money, #rant, #ignoring, #thinking

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The boss says, "How much will it cost to develop our next generation product?" Dilbert says, "It will cost whatever you put in the budget." The boss says, "How much should I put in the budget?" Dilbert says, "Ask for the biggest number you think will get approved." Dilbert says, "If we get a lot of money we can build something great." Dilbert says, "If we don't get much money we can build something lame, and compensate for the lack of quality by lying more vigorously than usual." The boss says, "I'll aim low so I don't get yelled at during the executive budget meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I remember the time when this sort of thing would haunt me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #angry, #yelling, #assignment, #ridiculous, #overworked

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The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #laptop, #equipment, #refusal, #ridicule, #evil, #cruel

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Mordac, the preventer of information services. Asok says, "May I use this laptop that no one else is using?" Mordac says, "No, but you can have my old pizza box while you waterboard yourself in your own tears." Asok says, "I guess that's better than nothing." Mordac says, "Really? In that case you can't have it."