Make Informed Decison Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Make Informed Decison

View 911 - 920 results for make informed decison comic strips. Discover the best "Make Informed Decison" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #brilliant, #ineffciency, #procrastination

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "We'll probably have to work all night on this presentation, Asok." Asok says, "That's brilliant! You plan to use your inefficiency to make your procrastination look like martyrdom!" Alice says, "Now I have to kill you." Asok says, "Please do. Reincarnation is my only hope."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #installing line, #phone line, #connected, #network, #yank wire, #central offcie

View Transcript

Transcript

Installing an ISDN line Telephone repairman is sitting next to the phone jack. Repairman says, "First we need to make sure your phone line is connected to our network." Repairmen hands Dilbert a cordless phone. Repairmen says, "I'll yank the wire while you listen for a "whump" sound at the central office." Central office full of pipes. Wires spill out of one of the pipes. Man holding one of the wires is listening to the phone which is off the hook. Over the phone Dilbert is heard. Dilbert says, "I heard something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager training, #same room, #decison, #illustrate point, #puppet show, #blamesville, #manager meg

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor says, "Never be in the same room as a decision." A diagram labeled "Decision" shows a person running and the label, "You." The Boss and two other pointy-haired managers sit and listen. The instructor says, "I'll illustrate my point with a puppet show that I call..." The instructor holds two hand puppets and says, "Journey to Blameville, starring Suggestion Sam and Manager Meg."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #ask questions, #bury survivors, #dont embarrass boss, #highly visible, #meetings, #put them in trunk, #promoted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quick phone call, #make small talk, #brought a magazine, #alice, #panty hose

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #around house, #cubicle, #dang, #house covered, #telecommuting, #giant cubicle, #im free

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands at Alice's front door and screams through a megaphone bullhorn, "Come out of there Alice! We know you're telecommuting!" Alice hides behind the couch and says, "Never! I'm free! You can't make me go back to a cubicle!" A large cubicle surrounds Alice's house. She lets out a small, "Dang."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pass inspection, #pays inspector, #dogbert inspector

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table and Dogbert stands on it. Dogbert says, "I understand it's your job to make sure your company can pass an ISO 14000 inspection." Dogbert says, "And I understand that your company pays the inspector for each inspection." Dilbert says, "So?" Caption: Dogbert: ISO 14000 Inspector. Dogbert holds a clipboard and says, "You fail again. That ten thousand dollars please." Dilbert says, "Next time could you actually walk around and look at stuff?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #third date, #vendor, #client, #obligated, #feisty, #oysters, #sale first, #kill client

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a vendor are eating lunch at a restaurant and are looking at the menu. Wally says, "Do you realize this is our third date?" The vendor (a woman) says, "We're not dating. I'm a vendor and you're my client." The vendor says, "You always say the only time we can meet is during lunch. That way I'm obligated to pay for it." The waitress brings them glasses of water. Wally says, "You're feisty. I'd better get the oysters." The vendor makes an angry grimmace and thinks, "Make sale first. Then kill client."