Meeting People Comic Strips - Page 92

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board of directors, #underling, #powerpoint, #slides, #preoccupied, #day jobs, #mistresses, #bonus, #meeting, #ceo, #all in favor, #business

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CEP presents to the board of directors CEO: An underling made these powerpoint slides and I don't understand them. But it doesn't matter because all of you are too preoccupied with your day jobs and mistresses to pay attention. Who votes to give me a huge bonus just to end this meeting?" Aye Aye Aye

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #real world, #uninformed criticisms, #meeting, #boss, #business

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The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company priorites, #intern, #meeting, #over thinking, #priorities, #projects, #co workers, #business

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The Boss: And those are the company priorities for the coming year. Any questions? Asok: Should I be concerned that none of my projects relate to any of those priorities? Wally: You're over thinking again. Asok: Sorry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #meeting, #miss step, #mole hired, #reporting, #chilling effect, #business

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RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mole hired, #boss, #sneak, #mole as mole, #people think, #gas bag, #bad press, #bad thoughts, #worthless, #self important

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The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #friday morning, #bagel friday, #separates us, #special, #bagels, #reward, #business

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The Boss: Wally, I need you to attend a meeting on Friday morning. But that is bagel Friday. It's the only thing that separates us from the animals. The Boss: You could get a bagel to go. Wally: It's as if you don't want to understand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate holidays, #day before holoday, #stop working, #cheapens work, #year round, #mean spirited, #bitter worker, #hyprocrit

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Wally: I hate it when people stop working because it's the day before a holiday. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally: "It cheapens the lack of work that I cultivate year-round." Asok: "I saw the funniest video clip!" Wally: "Tourist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #projects, #complete projects, #calculated risk, #tasks, #lateness irrelevant, #worst week, #business

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"And Wally, did you finish your project tasks for today?" Wally: "No. I took a calculated risk that other people would not finish their tasks either, making my lateness totally irrelevant." "Um..." "That is the worst..." "I need another week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

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Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #take an hour, #skip meeting, #agree to die, #earlier, #deadness, #haunt boss, #agreement

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Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."