Near Work Space Comic Strips - Page 92
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1000 Results for Near Work Space
View 911 - 920 results for near work space comic strips. Discover the best "Near Work Space" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 24,
2009
Tags coworker, thinking, sitting, computer, depressed, technology
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 22,
2009
Saturday July 18,
2009
Tags angry, yelling, assignment, ridiculous, overworked
Transcript
The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"
Monday July 13,
2009
Tags Environment, cups, paper, hot, ridiculous, animal, shocked, crazy
Transcript
The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."
Saturday June 27,
2009
Tags evil, mean, cruel, meeting, money, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "You shouldn't come to work just for money." Catbert says, "You should come to work to avoid not having any money." Wally says, "I'm only in it for these meetings." Catbert says, "Settle down, baldy."
Wednesday June 24,
2009
Tags auditor, taxes, inspection, confused, corruption
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."
Tuesday June 09,
2009
Tags meeting, explaining, angry, confronting, annoyed, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."
Monday June 01,
2009
Tags sitting, complaining, confessing, excuses, angry
Transcript
Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."
Sunday May 31,
2009
Tags walking, complaining, cruel, mean, mother, son, Family, Sports
Transcript
Dilmom Dilmom says, "How's work, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "I'm doing the job of three people and my pay has been cut 20%" Dilbert says, "My investments are worthless and my odds of finding a suitable mate are nearing zero." Dilbert says, "My life has no meaning, no joy and no hope." Dilbert says, "Do you have any motherly advice?" Dilmom says, "Shake it off, you big wuss." Dilmom says, "And you can pass that wisdom to the grandchildren you won't be having." Dilbert says, "You're not good at this." Dilmom says, "Eat broccoli. Whatever."
Thursday May 28,
2009
Tags asking, work, assignment, placating, saluting, sarcasm
Transcript
The boss says, "Find out how many engineers our competitors have so we can justify having that many." Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll spend a few hours comparing our apples to their oranges." The boss says, "Why does your cooperation sound like insubordination?" Dilbert says, "Aye-aye, captain!"