Reason With Idiots Comic Strips - Page 92
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View 911 - 920 results for reason with idiots comic strips. Discover the best "Reason With Idiots" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 26, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to handle the due diligence for our alliance with the galactic protein corporation." The Boss says, "Find out if they have any hidden issues we should know about." Dilbert says, "Is this a bad time?" Human Buns
Share April 25, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
Share April 20, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I have an issue." The Boss says, "Lordy lord." Dilbert says, "No one in the department wants to be left out of the decision making." Dilbert says, "But no one is willing to make a decision." Dilbert says, "As a result, all of my problems are perpetual." Dilbert says, "Can you do something about that?" The Boss says, "I can appear to be concerned. How's this expression?" Dilbert says, "Can you combine that with some impractical advice and unwarranted optimism?" Dilbert says, "I'm frequently thwarted, but rarely disappointed."
Share April 18, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: I want you to have the same emotional investment in this company as you have with your families. Wally: I'm divorced. Dilbert: I'm single. Asok: "I have never been kissed. Wally: Mission accomplished.
Share April 17, 2008's comic on:
Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?
Share April 06, 2008's comic on:
Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.
Share April 03, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."
Share March 18, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: My pessimistic coworkers have crushed my soul. Now I am nothing but meat with clothes. Garbageman: You can regain your soul by volunteering to help the less fortunate. Dilbert: Who is less fortunate than me? Garbageman: Anyone you date."
Share March 10, 2008's comic on:
Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."
Share March 04, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"