Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 92
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 911 - 920 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 17,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, vendor, software patch, installed, add value, tested, business
Transcript
Boss: Ask the vendor if they have a software patch to fix our problem. Dilbert: I already asked for the patch, installed it, and thoroughly tested in in production. Boss: I think I'll go add value someplace else. Dilbert: That's a good place to do it.
Monday January 13,
2014
Tags employees, mental health, vision not money, mental problems, low self esteem, performance review, business
Transcript
Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.
Wednesday January 08,
2014
Tags emotional well being, hug, managers & supervisors, rodents, touch a rat, around neck, exercises, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I can increase your engagement by caring for your emotional well-being. I would give you a hug, but I'm afraid of getting whatever made you this way. But I am willing to touch a rat that touches you, and that's not nothing. Wally: Put it on my neck.
Monday January 06,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, suspicion, startegic engineer group, worst in one group, insightful, business
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I'm moving you to a newly formed strategic engineering group. Ted; Are you putting all of your worst employees in one group so you can later eliminate the function and avoid firing each person individually? Boss: You picked a bad time to to become insightful.
Thursday January 02,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, public speaking, heros journey, power point, pointed haired monster, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say you should format your presentation like a "Hero's Journey." Presentation: Eventually, the plucky engineer finished his PowerPoint slides despite interference from a pointy-haired monster. Boss: Experts never warn you about that part.
Tuesday December 31,
2013
Tags business ethics, efficiency experts, gloves, foot in glove
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults
Monday December 30,
2013
Tags business ethics, executives, managers & supervisors, kill or cannibalize, business
Transcript
CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.
Saturday December 21,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), employees, business
Transcript
Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.
Thursday December 12,
2013
Tags flattery, company, boss, flatter, infinite people, typewriter, butter up, business
Transcript
Wally: Our company needs more people like you. Not just more. We need infinite people just like you. Boss: Where is this going? Wally: And if each of you hat a typewriter, wow!
Sunday December 08,
2013
Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business
Transcript
Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.


