Take The Job Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take The Job

View 911 - 920 results for take the job comic strips. Discover the best "Take The Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee orientation, where to start, busy, back, stress, website, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, badering manager, deciosn on issue, emails phonecalls, insist on the job, overpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

I've received some complaints that you've been badgering the managers. "Hmm...badgering you say." "Let me see if I understdnd this "badgering" concept." "Let's say that I need a manager's decision on a critical issue..." "And the manager in question ignores my e-mails and phone calls..." "shouldn't I insist that this manager do the job for which he is overpaid?!!!" "Huh? Shouldn't I? What do you say? Huh? Huh? How about it? Huh?" "I'll say I talked to her."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctors offcie, exam room, toxikill, drug comapny, totally hot, side effects, what eaten, doctor, thinking of date, drug rep, hot, payoff, kick back, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You're healthy but I have to give you a prescription for tocikill. The drug company's rep is totally hot and said she'd take me to lunch if I sell enough of this stuff." Dilbert: Will there be any side effects?" " Doctor: Depends on what I eat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vendor, can't deliver parts, promised parts, better job, never buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags five star restaurant, lunch, food so good, once in a lifetime, not invited, stay back, answer phones

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, I decided to take the entire staff out to a five-star restaurant for lunch." "The food is so good that it's almost intoxicating. When paired with the right wine, the experience is a once-in-a-life-time sensation." "While we're gone, you'll need to answer everyone's phone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new marketing camoaign, no budget, brave enough, bold project, worst job, hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We need a new marketing campaign but we have no budget for it whatsoever." "Who among is is brave enough to lead such a risky project?" "Okay, you're doing the worst job of hiding under the table."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags liar, habitual liar, died, feel great, head is skull, attached to body, yoga

View Transcript

Transcript

The Habitual Liar Alice: "I thought you died." Liar: "No. I feel great!" Alice: "I'm sure you're dead. Your head is a skull." Liar : "I cut back on carbs." Alice: "Your head isnt' even attatched to your body." Liar"I take yoga."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hating software, integration project, hate it, simply mentioned, pros and cons, balanced anaysis, hatred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags set a conference call, secretary's job, carol, ask question, set up appointmet

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Asok, your pointy-haired boss wants you to set up a conference call with all the division managers." Asok: "Um... wouldn't that be his secretary's job? And aren't you his secretary?" Carol: "Hey, I know. Why don't you try to get an appointment with him so you can ask that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags high crime area, fiduciary, misconducting, cfo, kicked, beat up

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."