Turned Out Fine Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for turned out fine comic strips. Discover the best "Turned Out Fine" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

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Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education

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The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #hidden camera, #capture theief, #raining cubicles, #human form, #grainy picture

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Dilbert slips a tape into a VCR as the boss watches. Dilbert says, "I used a hidden camera to capture the thief who's been raiding our cubicles." The picture on the TV screen is the boss. The boss says, "The picture is grainy but I can almost make out a human form... or maybe a cat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lost two pounds, #less of you, #happy, #scrap of encouragemnet, #tapped out

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It's the morning, Dilbert wears his robe. Dogbert reads the newspaper. Dilbert says, "I lost two pounds!" Dogbert says, "I'm happy. Guess why." Dilbert says, "Because you're supportive?" Dogbert says, "Because there's less of you." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for a scrap of encouragement." Dogbert says, "I'm all taooed out. Try back tommorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #process manager, #process, #poorly manged, #intern, #no process, #voted out of meeting, #annoying

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Wally, Dilbert, the Boss, and others are in a meeting. The Boss introduces the woman next to him to the group. The Boss says, "Patty is our new 'process manager.'" The Boss continues, "Patty doesn't know how to DO anything." He adds, "She only knows how to do things BETTER!" Patty raises a finger, "Process!" Patty says, "For example, this meeting is poorly managed because you have no process." Patty, turning to Asok, continues, "And this intern obviously had no process for deciding whether to attend." The Boss raises his hand. He addresses the group, "Okay, Patty is annoying. All in favor of getting rid of her." The entire group, except for Patty, raises their hands. Asok looks like he's going to strangle her. As they all leave the meeting behind the dejected Patty, Dilbert says to her, "You lasted longer than Timmy the 'Facilitator.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #peggy pr dircetor, #press release, #technical accuracy, #trained squirrel, #run on sentences, #transparent lies, #spelling grammar, #errors, #criticism stronger

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The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #little experiment, #stupid opinion, #aggressively mock, #passing fad, #internet is fad, #internet is everywhere, #back up plan, #attribute opinon

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch, eating, watching TV. Dogbert says to him, "I'm trying a little experiment tonight." Dobert continues, "I'll attribute a stupid opinion to you..." "Then I"ll aggressively mock you while you sit there saying nothing." Dogbert says, "So, according to you, the internet is a passing fad." Dogbert screams, "You moron! Look around you! The internet is everywhere!" Then, "And there's nothing you can do about it! Nothing!" Dilbert, who has turned back to the TV, asks, "How did that feel?" Dogbert replies, "Quite satisfying." Dilbert offers Dogbert some of what he's eating. Dogbert then adds, "I needed a backup plan in case you every get laryngitis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss acts bull, #fast, #pointy haired, #rodeo clown, #woo hoo, #taunts boss, #employee, #new hire

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The rodeo clown runs after the boss and says, "wah-wah! Woo-Woo!" The rodeo clown sticks his tongue out and waves his hands around. The boss snorts and charges like a bull, his hair like horns. The rodeo clown pulls himself out of the way using a cubicle wall. Wally and Dilbert watch over the walls of thier cubicle. Dilbert says, "Just as I suspected, the new guy is a rodeo clown." Wally says, "he's fast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #morale, #family picture, #picture of you, #hard to look at, #freaks, #alice

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Alice, to the Boss, who is sitting at his desk, "...So our morale is... umm..." Alice asks, "What's that on your desk?" The Boss says, "It's a family picture." Alice picks up the photograph, "I might be wrong but I think it's only a picture of you." The Boss says, "The rest of the family is hard to look at." The Boss continues, "I see no reason I should suffer." Alice is stunned. The Boss asks, "Now what was your question about morale?" Alice walks out of the Boss' office. He calls to her, "Alice?" The Boss picks up the picture of himself and says, directly to it, "We're surrounded by freaks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #concludes presentation, #questions, #boredom, #head, #screams, #can't breathe

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Dilbert stands next to a projection on the wall. Dilbert says, "This concludes my presentation. Are there are any questions?" The people in the meeting have their hands to their ears and look terrified. One man says, "How do I get the boredome out of my head?!" Dilbert thinks, "The funny thing is that I'll list thia on my annual accomplishments." The people say, in unison, "Air! I need air!!!"