20% More Money Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for 20% more money comic strips. Discover the best "20% More Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #minor success, #chance corporate ruination

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The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #phishing, #new hobby, #fake banking emails, #gullible executives, #financial information, #steal, #password social security card

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"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #last doughnut, #last half, #xenos, #switch, #hard liquor

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Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #topper vs. a customer, #dogsled race, #world toughest terrain, #better than, #top you, #cancel deal, #burn to ground, #go one better, #more better

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Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Elbonian hackers are trying to steal our source code. "Send our goons to beat them up." "I was thinking more along the lines of improving our data security." "Improve it or else I'll have our goons beat you up." "This is surprisingly motivational." "Youse call dat a firewall?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"What's up with the face?" "I'm practicing my work grimace." "This face says, 'I'm so overworked that I can't possibly do any more'." "I'm also getting a message of intestinal discomfort." "It's a subplot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally Interviews "The job doesn't have a base salary." "You'll pay us $1,000 per month and work from home. If you make any money for us, we'll give you 10%." "You're not allowed to have business cards. And you can't use our name." "Can I have a private office in my house?"