Boss Office Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for boss office comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

You Have To Work Hard To Succeed

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You Have To Work Hard To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, work, hard, single, day, years, succeed, topic

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The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!

When Will Ted By Done

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When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, test, data, ted, working, done, range

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The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Inadequate Explanations

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Inadequate Explanations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, decision, project, boss, input, situation, usual, nothing

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Dilbert: Have you made a decision on my project yet? The Boss: No, but I asked my boss for his input. Dilbert: Did you inadequately explain the situation as usual? The Boss: Maybe. Dilbert: Thanks for all the nothing.

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

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Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, ted talk, idiots, dumb, career, change, smart, possible, speak

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The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

Training By Osmosis

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Training By Osmosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, formal, training, job, absorb, osmosis, idiot, rest, staff

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The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!

Intentionally Underbidding

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Intentionally Underbidding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, intentionally, underbidding, extra-shoddy, work, grossly, overcharging, upgrades, criminal, organization, proven

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The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.

Boss Leads All The Way

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Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, encouragement, irritation, managers & supervisors, trick, deadline

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Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Exceeding Expectations

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Exceeding Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, employment, job, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!

Punishing For Others

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Punishing For Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, salary

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Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.