Dilbert Mother Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dilbert Mother

View 911 - 920 results for dilbert mother comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Mother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, zimbu the monkey, lay off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, lay off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "I can't decide which one of you to lay off, so I've decided to have a contest." The Boss says, "The first event is the 'staple chase.'" Dilbert has been stapled to a bulletin board. The Boss says, "Round one: Zimbu." Dilbert says, "I think I winged him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, zimbu, creativity, test, humor, barrel, monkey, advantage, guillibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, engineering, banana, flea, hotel, zimbu, management, track, victory

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, alice, business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, Dilbert, the boss, alice, ted, business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, albert, bonding, shoulder, massage, team, player, buddy, vulcan, death, grip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll give you Albert a male bonding shoulder massage to show I'm a team player. Hey, Al! Keep up the work, Buddy! Oops... That might have been the Vulcan death grip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I'm sending you to our plant in Elbonia. I want you to teach them 'quality.'" The Boss continues, "I selected you because you've been there and you know their language." Dilbert replies, "They speak English." The Boss says, "Oh, then I guess it's because I hate you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, ratbert, elbonia, elbonian man, body guard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, elbonian men, Dilbert, management, business consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."