Down For Day Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Down For Day

View 911 - 920 results for down for day comic strips. Discover the best "Down For Day" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #slow walking women, #squeeze, #oblivious, #time stands still

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #service anniversary, #20 years, #one year pins, #asked for money, #six years, #pay for pins, #card with wrong name, #unappreciative, #creepy business practices

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a package in his hand and says, "Happy service anniversary, Alice." The Boss continues, "We're out of twenty-year pins so I got twenty of the one- year pins." The Boss hands Alice the package and says, "You can pin these babies all over your blouse... or fishing hat if you prefer." The Boss continues, "The card says, 'To Kathy' but it was never opened. For some reason she quit the day she got her twenty pins." The Boss continues, "Incidentally, I have to charge you $262 for the pins. The company doesn't pay for them." Alice holds the box angrily. Alice responds, "First of all, I've only worked here for about six years.." The Boss interrupts, "Wow, you look older. Anyway, just give me the $262 and throw away eight pins and we'll call it good." Alice rolls up her sleeve and shakes with anger. She holds one arm back with the other. The Boss asks, "Why are you rolling up your sleeve? Are you going to pin them to your arm?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bad attitude, #bad news, #bad perfromance, #boss meeting, #downsized, #dump, #free from tyranny, #rational, #profits

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is standing in the doorway of The Boss' office. Catbert says, "Bad news." Catbert continues, "The employees figured out that they won't get raises next year because profits are in the dumps." The Boss gasps. Catbert's voice continues, "And they're being rational about it." Asok says to Wally, "We are free from the tyranny of having to work hard for raises." Wally exclaims, "Ooh-yah!" Wally continues, "But there's a delicate balance because we don't want to be down-sized." Wally continues, "I figure we can either have bad attitudes or bad performance but not both." Asok says, "I think I'll try having a bad attitude." Wally replies, "'I'm a bad performance man myself." Wally and Asok are sitting in The Boss' office. Wally says, "I just realized that my entire job can be done by guessing." Asok says, "Hey, dip-weed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #work from home, #know working, #wearing uncomfortable hat, #extremely uncomfortable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally approaches and asks, "Is it okay if I work from home one day a week?" The Boss responds, "How would I know you were working?" Wally responds, "How do you know I'm working when I'm HERE?" The Boss responds, "When you're here, I know you're unhappy and that's the same thing as work." Wally responds, "What if I invent a hideously uncomfortable hat to wear when I'm working at home?" The Boss responds, "Well... that might be okay." The Boss continues, "But it has to be extremely uncomfortable or else it isn't work." Wally sits in his living room. He has a clamp tightened around his head and has turned blue. He thinks, "Hee Hee! The joke's on him - it isn't that uncomfortable."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #hand writing, #answer questions, #return calls, #i'll be away, #bad odor, #windy, #phantom, #monkeys, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pops into Dilbert's cubicle and hands him a piece of paper. The Boss says, "Dilbert, take care of this. It's urgent." Dilbert responds, "I can't read your handwriting. What does it say?" The Boss responds, "I don't have time to answer your questions." The Boss continues, "Don't try to call me. I don't return calls." The Boss continues, "If you come to my office I'll be away." Headline: And then, like a bad odor on a windy day, the phantom manager vanished." Dilbert gives the note to Carol. She says, "I think it says, 'Floog smort olak munta hawthnort." Dilbert asks, "What does it mean?" Carol responds, "I think it involves monkeys and duct tape."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #video cameras installed, #id badges, #internet, #phone use monitored, #drug testing, #hot irons, #brand awareness, #branding, #employees, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Video cameras have been installed in all work areas." Catbert holds up a badge and says, "Employees must wear I.D. badges around their neck." Catbert continues, "Your internet and telephone usage will be monitored." Catbert continues, "Everyone will undergo mandatory drug testing." Catbert thinks to himself, "They're not resisting. They're ready for phase two." Catbert says, "Prepare to be permanently marked by hot ironos." The Boss asks Catbert, "Will that hurt?" Catbert answers, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking." Everyone holds Wally down on the table as Catbert announces, "Wally is about to experience brand awareness."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #funny in purple, #important decsions, #missile defense networks, #naps, #french people, #touching with cigarette

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters the Boss' office and asks, "Is it okay if I take naps during the day?" Dilbert then asks, "Or would you prefer that I make important decisions while groggy and delusional?" Dilbert continues, "Either way is okay with me. It's your call." The Boss doesn't respond and Dilbert leaves his office thinking, "He looks funny all purple." Back at his desk and half asleep, Dilbert thinks to himself "Must...stay...awake. Make...important...decisions." Dilbert continues, "Must replace optical switches with dancing lemurs." The Boss stands behind Dilbert as he sleeps. Now in an obvious dream state, Dilbert yells in his sleep "Gaaa! French people are touching me with cigarettes!" The Boss leaves Dilbert's cubicle thinking, "I hope that's how engineers design missile defense networks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #cashier, #phoney, #customer service smile, #required, #looks like flirting, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

A smiling female employee, handing Dilbert change, says, "Thank you. Have a nice day." Dilbert thinks, "She's flirting with me." Dilbert says to the woman, "Um... Would you like to go out on Saturday?" The woman, still smiling, says, "I wasn't flirting. This is my phony customer service smile." The woman says to Dilbert, "Employees are required to smile." Dilbert asks the woman, "Okay. But now you're flirting, aren't you?" The woman answers, "No, still phony." Walking away, Dilbert thinks, "Wally has to see this." Wally and Dilbert stand looking at the smiling woman. Wally says, "Hey, it looks like she's flirting with me!" Dilbert says, "Is this great or what?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #business book, #change happens, #forward, #meds filler, #parable, #picnic, #served as hamburgers, #two bulls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, busily typing, says to Dilbert, "I'm writing a business book called 'Change Happens. Get Over It'." Dilbert says, "The title says it all." Dogbert says, "Yeah. It needs filler." Dilbert says, "How about a parable?" Dogbert says, "Good idea." Dogbert types, "Two bulls were talking." Dogbert continues typing, "One bull says, 'I'm afraid of change'." Dogbert continues typing, "The other bull says, 'Get over it'." Dogbert continues typing, "Later that day they were both ground into hamburgers and served at a picnic." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The hard part will be finding someone to write the foreword."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #flex time, #5 hours in morning, #break for then hrs, #5 hours later, #filthy cubicle, #downside, #plan, #staff meeting, #cherish, #clever schemes, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to work flex time." Wally says, "I'll work for five hours before anyone else gets to the office..." Wally says to The Boss, "Then I'll take a break for ten hours..." Wally says, "Then I'll work five more hours after the witnesses... er... co-workers go home." Wally says, "You'll know I'm working hard because my cubicle will be filthy." Wally says, "But I have to be perfectly honest: There's a down side to this plan." Wally says to The Boss, "I would miss your staff meetings that I cherish so much." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm having trouble keeping my clever schemes separate from my sarcasm."