Excellent Job Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Excellent Job

View 911 - 920 results for excellent job comic strips. Discover the best "Excellent Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Political Views

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Political Views - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disagreement, Politics, Opinion, differences, arguing

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I can't work with Wally. His political views are abhorrent. Boss: That has nothing to do with your job. Tina: He makes me too sad and angry to work! Boss: Would you be happy if I punished him for having an opinion? Tina: Would I be a bad person if I said I would?

Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, gandhi, Politics, offense, offensive, sensitive, politically correct, political correctness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?

Wally's Coffee Drone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, management, ideas, invention, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

Robot Tries To Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Robot Will Self Destruct

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Asok Should Not Brag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, bragging, credit, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, cubicle, depression, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, certification, listening, corporations, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Dogbert Is A Good Listener

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is A Good Listener - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags listening, ignoring, earbuds, headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.

Robot Is Too Smart

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Is Too Smart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, automation, power, managers, intelligence, ai, artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.