Hard Time Comic Strips - Page 92
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"Alice, our budget is tight so I've been asked to reward you with non-monetary compensation." "Do you know Ken in marketing? You can punch him as hard as you want." "Does Ken know about this?" "People love surprises."
Dogbert the Lobbyist Dogbert: Congressman, I will give you this bag of money if you vote for tax breaks for my client. Try to be less obvious than the last time. Congressman: Yes! I vote yes! Man: Smooth.
"Alice, interview the guy in our conference room and see what he can do for us." "I'm going to bonk your head on the table. If it sounds empty, you'll work in marketing." "How did it go?" "I bonked too hard. We just got a new sales guy."
I hear you're a job hopper. "I like to think I have high standards." "Are you aware that all jobs require you to do things you'd rather not do? That's why they have to pay you." "Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic." "I quit! I'm going someplace where my coworkers will never waste my time!!!"
Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"
The enemy was less than fifty feet away and my only hope was to call for an air strike. "That reminds me of the time I ran out of staples and had to use glue." "And then a sniper spotted me." "My glue was bad."
"I cannot decide if you are very wise or just a big stupid moron." "Well, I'll tell you, little cowpoke, when the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat." "You look more flustered than a barefoot squirrel at a tire store." "Gaaa!!! They almost make sense!!"