Help Desk Comic Strips - Page 92
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Wally stares at the embryo on the desk. Wally thinks, "I'd better ruin the career of this upstart embry before he replaces me." Catbert arrives at the cubicle and says, "I need volunteers to give constructive criticism to human resources." Catbert walks down the hall holding the embryo. Catbert says, "I don't like your attitude."
Caption: "Tina the tech writer." Tina holds a paper under her arm. Tina stands at The Bosses desk and says, "I grew tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter." The Boss reads paper. Tina says, 'So I started inventing stories of bizarre work-place crimes." The Boss reads and looks surprised. Tina says, "Sometimes we in the media have to give the copycat criminals a little kick start."
Wally reads at a desk, Dilbert listens. Wally says, "Our company newsletter has reports of bizarre work-place crimes." Wally reads, "I've never thought of these crimes before, but now I have the urge to be a copycat." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "Thank goodness my parents raised me to be lazy." Dilbert says, "They were very wise."
Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."
Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."
Alice is standing in the office with her arms apart from her side and thinks, "Forgotten in the reorganization plan, I exist in org-limbo." Dilbert and Wally walk by as she thinks, "The normal people can't see me or hear me." Dogbert is standing on the bosses desk wearing a turban and says to the boss, "Sometimes the unassigned have unfinished business. I can see them."
Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."
The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."
Carol with a child in each hand comes up to Dilbert, who is at his computer and says, "I brought my kids to work because day care is closed." Dilbert turns around and Carol introduces the kids. "Tess is a yeller and Smokey is a biter." Later on... Dilbert, with Smokey hanging from his teeth on his arm and Tess on his leg screaming, is now standing behind Carol, who is sitting at her desk. Dilbert says, "Why is day care closed?" Carol replies, "The townspeople torched it."
Alice stands in front of the boss's desk. The boss says to Alice while looking at a sheet of paper: "I can't send you to this class, Alice. We need you here." The boss says to Alice: "And after we use you up, we'll need you to be somewhere else." Alice says to Wally, who is standing in front of his cubicle: "What will I do when my skills are obsolete?" Wally answers while holding a cup of coffee: "Try walking around with a coffee cup"