Hours Of Work Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for hours of work comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Of Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lord, #master, #worthless cretin, #telemarketing, #voice mail

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the couch. Dogbert dials a number on the telephone. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert, your lord and master! Submit to my will, you worthless cretin!" Dilbert uses the remote control to change the TV channel. Dilbert asks, "Does telemarketing work for that sort of thing?" Dogbert replies, "You'll know tomorrow; that was your voice mail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #broke herd, #dancer, #do your stuff, #flirting, #powerful, #woman, #chick magnet

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Dilbert, wearing a jogging suit, sits in the grass. He says to Dogbert, "If you're such a chick magnet, let's see you do your stuff." Dogbert says, "Okay. I'll wag. They love that." Dilbert says, "It's working! You broke one out of the herd. She'd coming this way." Dogbert says, "Be careful. I don't know how powerful this is." Dilbert grumbles. A cute girl sits next to Dogbert and says, "I'll bet you work out a lot. I'm a dancer." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #task force, #recruit, #smartest college seniors, #lie often, #real life experince, #meetings, #parties

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The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #recruiting on campus, #twelve comapnies, #copies, #resume, #true tables, #interview, #interviewee

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Recruiting on Campus The female college student says, "I have better offers from twelve companies. Whay should I work at yours?" Dilbert stares blankly. The college student walks away, "I'll see what I can do for you." Dilbert says, "Do you have enough copies of my resume?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #masters degress, #top colleges, #new hires

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The Boss says, "From now on, we'll only hire people with masters degrees from the top colleges." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says,"I don't have a masters degree from a top college. I'm insulted by this new policy." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally with a line above his head. The Boss says, "And new hires must be this tall to work here." Wally yells, "HEY!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #go home early, #exempt employee, #unimportant document, #shuffle around, #quiet desparation

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Asok says, "I finished all my work. Can I go home early?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss explains, "You're an 'exempt' employee. That means you're exempt from having a life." Asok says, "I guess I could clench an unimportant document and shuffle around in quiet desperation." The Boss says, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #brilliant, #ineffciency, #procrastination

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Alice says, "We'll probably have to work all night on this presentation, Asok." Asok says, "That's brilliant! You plan to use your inefficiency to make your procrastination look like martyrdom!" Alice says, "Now I have to kill you." Asok says, "Please do. Reincarnation is my only hope."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #skeptics association, #psychic rat, #passport, #drivers licence, #fake id, #dna test, #never been cloned

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Dilbert is talking on the telephone and says, "Is this Skeptics Association? I need your help to prove my rat isn't psychic." Dilbert holds the phone and says, "My name is Dilbert. Yes, I can prove it; I have a pssport and a driver's license. Well, yeah. It's easy to get a fake ID, but..." Hours later... Dilbert is still on the phone, his hair is a mess and he says, "...Okay, what if I take a DNA test? No, I can't prove I've never been cloned!!" He's angry.