Mr. Boss Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for mr. boss comic strips. Discover the best "Mr. Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #japan, #favoite, #animals, #remember, #calisthenics, #shark

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The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert carrying costumes. The Boss says, "On my recent business trip to Japan, I learned that Japanese workers dress as their favorite animals to boost productivity." Wally wears a beaver costume and Dilbert wears a dolphin costume. In Japan, a group of workers laugh as one man says, "Ooh-ooh . . . And remember the time we told them we all do calisthenics?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #consultant, #plunging, #problem, #easy, #solve, #training, #budget, #brains

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Dogbert stands in front of an easel and points to a diagram. The Boss and a woman sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Your profits are plunging." Dogbert continues, "The problem will not be easy to solve." The diagram shows a large brain labeled "competitors," a smaller brain labeled "beavers," and a tiny brain labeled "you." The Boss asks, "So, what should we do? Cut the training budget again?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #drug, #testing, #performance, #attendance, #judged, #insult, #integrity

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why have you refused to submit to our employee drug testing?" Dilbert replies, "It's violation of my privacy and an insult to my integrity. I demand to be judged only on my PERFORMANCE." The Boss says, "But your performance stinks," Dilbert says, "Performance AND attendance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #company's, #privacy, #johnson, #cheetos, #diet pepsi, #grass, #skirts, #lawnmower

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Dilbert asks Wally, "Don't you think the company's drug testing policy is a violation of our privacy?" Wally replies, "I don't do drugs." The Boss reads a report and says, "Johnson, your blood test results are in. Looks like you live on Cheetos and Diet Pepsi . . . Your wife doesn't love you . . . And whoa . . What's this?" The Boss continues, "Apparently, you like to dress in grass skirts and make fun of the lawnmower."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #sod, #wilson, #flogging, #dead, #hourses, #internal, #bureaucracy, #gouge, #customers, #attitude, #bad

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The Boss: It's going to be another year of flogging dead horses. But somehow we'll muddle through our internal bureaucracy, gouge our customers, and keep getting our tiny paychecks. Dilbert: Sir, Wilson turned into a clump of uninspired sod. The Boss: It's just as well; he had a bad attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #executives, #regular, #people, #squash, #bug, #glass, #ceiling

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Dilbert sits in his desk chair. The Boss says, "You've been randomly selected to have lunch with a senior executive of the company." The Boss continues, "This is how the executives show that they are regular people, just like you and me." At lunch, Dilbert sits at a table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I could squash you like a bug! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market, #no raise, #accomplished nothing, #invest in penny stocks, #hot stock tips, #narrowed the gap, #money

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Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face

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Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #certification in puppetry, #degree in engineering, #diploma and bait shop, #discrepancy, #resume, #ventriloquism

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Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flip house, #foreclosed, #mold, #red flags, #residential buildings, #squatters, #urine

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Boss: I bought a foreclosed house for $500. I plan to flip it for profit. Dilbert: Did the disclosures have any red flags? Boss: They claim there's a lot of mold and enexploded ordnance. But I don't see how either of those things could have survived the urine from the crack squatters.