New Secretary Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Secretary

View 911 - 920 results for new secretary comic strips. Discover the best "New Secretary" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cannibals, #victims, #staving competition, #cannibalizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new product is cannibalizing our old product. Either we have a brilliant strategy for staving off competition, or our CEO is the victim of a bully. Bully: Ha ha! Why don't you stop cannibalizing yourself?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #traffic, #work, #co worker, #shopping, #week, #attractive nuisance

View Transcript

Transcript

secretary: Wally, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Wally: I didn't have time. I spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site. Hey, you can't blame the guy who just uses the attractive nuisance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corner, #cubilce, #door, #fantasy, #nutrients, #office, #replacement, #giant mushroom

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #butt hurt, #boss, #suboptimal, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new chair can be adjusted to a jillion different positions. That practically guarantees I'm using it in a suboptimal way. I think it might be disabling me. Does that look normal to you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five year plan, #five minutes, #office, #room, #conference room

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #mocking, #salvage joy, #work, #five year plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee maker, #meeting, #not enough money, #raise, #too much, #budget, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."