Problem With Clone Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for problem with clone comic strips. Discover the best "Problem With Clone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert outplacement agebcy, doa, freelance consulatants, cubicles, earn no money, equipped, phone, refurbished ego

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Dogbert: welcome to the dogcart outplacement agency, or "DOA" as I call it. Dogbert: Here, Nobody "unemployed" You're freelance consultants who sit in cubicles and earn no money! Every cubicle is equipped with a phone and a refurbished ego. ego: I will not work with that thing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boot camp, conquer the earth, genetic mutations, half man, sea monkeys, half cucumber

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"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unpaid overtime, mba class, working for free, rub head, good luck

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"I'd stay and work some unpaid overtime with you but I'm taking MBA classes." "If YOU took MBA classes you'd understand that working for free is a low NPV." "If you don't mind, before big tests I'd like to rub your head for luck." "It'll cost you a nickel."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags macro economics, diagram, flood victim, mechanical pencil, erase

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Professor: Lets start with a brief refresher in macro economics. This diagram explains why Im and expert in money yet I dress like a flood victim. You'll have no trouble with the rest of the course unless your mechanical pencil jammed...lets erase....

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executive style decison, cucbicle, illegible question scrawled, loose original, excuses

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"This item will require your usual executive-style decision." "You know: keep it on your desk for three weeks, then sneak it back to my cubicle with an illegible question scrawled in the margin." "Or, for your convenience, I have made no copies; so you can lose the original and claim you gave it back to me." "Hmm"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big tech show, curly haired guys, salmon, spawning opportunites, vast sea, indistinct products, trade show, facial hair

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Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trade show registration, rental beards, not allowed, pipe scented suspenders, portly attendees

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Trade show registration ClerK : Men without facial hair are not allowed on the exhibition floor. We have rental beards for your convenience. That model comes with pipe-scented suspenders. Its very popular with our portly attendees.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beat it out, changing mind, engineering, goons, project requirements, thoughts, won't share, meditation

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Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob the dinosaur, double fee, triple fee, infinity plus one, childish men, hired to beat, tail, project requiremnets

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Dilbert: I hired Bob the dinosaur to beat you with his tail until you give me the project requirements. MAN: HA! I'll double your fee if you thump Dilbert instead. Dilbert: I 'll triple the fee! Dilbert: He can't really pay you "infinity" plus one. BOB: I wonder how much this is on an hourly basis.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags after every typo, point and click, poorly documented commands, reboot, interface

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"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."