Same Time Comic Strips - Page 92

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View 911 - 920 results for same time comic strips. Discover the best "Same Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review

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"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

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Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts, #selfish cell phone, #no number, #can bother people, #stop bothering me

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"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok

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V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #employment, #freedom, #jobs, #office, #office workers, #suicide

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Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I'm too busy to learn anything about the projects I'm managing. "I barely have enough time to make critical decisions about them." "Maybe you're lazy and stupid." "Let's go down to the pond and throw rocks at the ducks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Welcome to Dogbert's school for zombies and/or certified project managers. "The training is the same for either profession. The main difference is that zombies get more sun." "Repeat after me: I want to calendar an on-site post cutover support review meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #center of excellence, #presidentail library, #honoring lifes work, #asking questions

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"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."