Say It A Certain Way Comic Strips - Page 92

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Say It A Certain Way

View 911 - 920 results for say it a certain way comic strips. Discover the best "Say It A Certain Way" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #butt hurt, #boss, #suboptimal, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new chair can be adjusted to a jillion different positions. That practically guarantees I'm using it in a suboptimal way. I think it might be disabling me. Does that look normal to you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identify systems, #inefficient, #new standards, #passive aggressive, #freelancer

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: That thing is called a "boss." His job is to identify systems that are inefficient and make them our new standards. The Boss: I do way more than that. Alice: Don't look directly at it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firing, #humorless stain, #interview boss, #soul of humanity, #support thesis, #worship satan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert gazette is doing a story on your firing of an employee for posting a comic on the wall. I need some quotes that support my thesis of you being a humorless stain on the soul of humanity. Would you say you worship satan, or do you simply respect his nonsense approach to discipline?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #ratted you out, #finding out, #undoing, #miracle

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-Soos Wally: Did you find out who ratted you out, Jesus? FZEET! Wally: Maybe you have a way of finding out that sort of thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capital cost, #estimates, #clarify, #ruin the system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improbable solution, #work problem, #one million, #business model

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternative fuel divison, #oil into watwer, #uninhabitable wasteland, #water into fuel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss vacation, #announcement made, #cheering, #employees cheer, #2 weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm off for two relaxing weeks of well-earned vacation." Carol says, "Attention all employees. The stain is on the move. I repeat, the stain is on the move." Employees say, "YIPPEE! WOO-HOO! YES!" The Boss thinks, "Relaxing just got harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #code changes, #specifications vague, #uncompelling, #breeding ground, #ennui, #cheer up

View Transcript

Transcript

man: "Alice, did you make those code changes yet?" Alice says, "No. I find your specifications to be vague and uncompelling. They are a breeding ground for ennui." man : "Is there any way I can cheer you up?" Alice says, "Maybe if something awful happened to you."