Successful Man Comic Strips - Page 92
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1000 Results for Successful Man
View 911 - 920 results for successful man comic strips. Discover the best "Successful Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 13,
2008
Tags #interest free loan, #paperwork, #snortling, #leverage is limited, #no snortling
Transcript
The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"
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Saturday June 14,
2008
Tags #can't survive, #flyswatter, #late invoices
Transcript
A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."
Thursday June 26,
2008
Tags #boss calls, #vacation, #counter productive policies, #victims of ignorance
Transcript
The Boss says, "Is everything okay since I left for vacation?" Carol says, "Better than ever." Carol says, "Counterproductive policies have been eliminated, and we are no longer victims of ignorance." The Boss thinks, "Man, I don't like the sound of that."
Friday June 27,
2008
Tags #attend a meeting, #bully you, #making decions, #bad for dept, #no respect
Transcript
A man says, "I need you to attend a meeting for your boss while he's on vacation." The man says, "I plan to bully you into making decisions that are bad for your department." Dilbert says, "It's almost as if you have no respect for me." The man says, "Yeah, almost."
Saturday June 28,
2008
Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget
Transcript
Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"
Monday July 07,
2008
Tags #code changes, #specifications vague, #uncompelling, #breeding ground, #ennui, #cheer up
Transcript
man: "Alice, did you make those code changes yet?" Alice says, "No. I find your specifications to be vague and uncompelling. They are a breeding ground for ennui." man : "Is there any way I can cheer you up?" Alice says, "Maybe if something awful happened to you."
Thursday July 10,
2008
Tags #time management expert, #evaluation, #curing cancer, #extra hours, #increase chances
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert. Dogbert says, "I can tell by looking at you that it doesn't matter what you do with your time." Dogbert says, "I don't think you'll be curing cancer if I give you a few extra hours per week." Dogbert says, "In fact, it would probably increase your chances of getting it." A man says, "Are we done? I need a smoke?"
Friday July 18,
2008
Tags #moral compass damaged, #vice president, #miserable and helpless, #actual job
Transcript
A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."
Friday July 25,
2008
Tags #ceo, #escape justice, #support group, #thrown out wondow, #injured, #casts, #bandages
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need to find a support group for people who have my same problem." Dilbert says, "Type 'thrown out of a fifth floor window by a CEO who will escape justice.'" A man says, "look who doesn't have a broken leg. Do you think you're better than us?"
Tuesday July 29,
2008
Tags #jury selection, #big eyebrows, #dumb as you look, #manipulate, #love, #relationships
Transcript
Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."