Turned Out Fine Comic Strips - Page 92
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Share August 29, 1999's comic on:
Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"
Share September 05, 1999's comic on:
The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."
Share September 12, 1999's comic on:
Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"
Share November 28, 1999's comic on:
CATBERT: EVIl Director of Human Resources Catbert is walking through the office carrying a paper thinking, "I love my job." He walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hello, hapless employee." He continues, "I've renamed the four levels of employee performance..." "...To accurately reflect the views of management." Catbert reading from his paper, "The category of "exceeds expectations" is renamed to..." "..."At least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself."..." He continues, "..."Meets expectations will be called "loser". "Does not meet expectations" will now be called "Die! Die! Die!"..." Catbert is walking off thinking, "I could send it out by e-mail but I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces."
Share January 12, 2005's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you ever feel guilty for scamming innocent people out of their money? Dogbert: "No." "I only scam people who would do the same to me if they were just smarter." Dilbert: "So you use arrogance to cancel guilt?" Dogbert: "It's a good system."
Share January 14, 2005's comic on:
Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."
Share February 26, 2005's comic on:
Tina: I think we should talk and try to work out our problem. Dilbert: "What problem?" Tina: "I'm referring to your utter disrespect for me. Dilbert: I don't disrepect you." Tina: "Not even slightly?" Dilbert: "Wait. I feel a little bit coming on right now."
Share March 02, 2005's comic on:
Share March 15, 2005's comic on:
Senior management has decided to move our office out of this high-crime area. "Because every one of them was beaten up in front og the building by a guy with pyramid-shaped hair.'<Br>"Police released this sketch. The guy likes to yell something about a "fist of death.""
Share March 18, 2005's comic on:
Asok: The conference call was a huge sucess. "Three out of 15 people were available and only one of them forgot to call in." The boss: "So it was a phone call between two people?" Asok: "It would have been if they hadn't used the mute buttons."