Enough People Quit Comic Strips - Page 93

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mouse training, #mandatory, #western grip, #carpal tunnel, #weak muscles, #two handed mouse, #massage, #back

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Tina approaches and says, "I'm signing up people for the mandatory mouse training club." Tina continues, "I see you're using a Western grip. That's just begging for carpal tunnel." Tina grabs Dilbert's wrist and says, "Weak muscles... I'll put you in the two- handed mouse class." Dilbert responds, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man on moon, #recycled paper, #flawed analogy, #good analogies

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "If we can put a man on the moon, we can build a computer made entirely of recycled paper." Dilbert responds, "Your flawed analogy only shows that other people can do other things." The Boss says, "Maybe you should call other people and ask how they do it." Dilbert responds, "Maybe they use good analogies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turned into sheep, #problems are interesting, #fricken sheep

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Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Before we start the meeting, I should explain how I turned into a sheep." Wally responds, "Why do people think their problems are interesting to other people?" Alice says, "I stepped in a puddle." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm a fricken sheep!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti itch lotion, #might cause itching, #customer list, #bear, #mean dogbert, #evil thinking, #hates people

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Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dogbert says, "I plan to sell an anti-itch lotion that's really just honey." Dogbert continues, "I'll put a disclaimer on the bottle that says, 'Might cause itching.'" Dogbert continues, "And then I'll sell my customer list to bears." Dilbert responds, "That's not nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bed hair, #over slept, #bad case, #back to normal, #unleash unhygenic

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Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are sitting in a row. One side of Alice's hair is completely flat. She looks over to Asok and says, "Quit staring. I overslept and now I have a bad case of bed hair." Asok responds, "I'm confused. Surely it would have gone back to normal after your shower." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. Dilbert runs away. Asok exclaims in fear, "Please do not unleash the unhygienic fist of death!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bone deep, #carefree, #medication, #shellfish, #until the pun, #beauty, #side effect, #health

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Dilbert is at a party; he has an exoskeleton. He's holding a drink and talking to a woman. Dilbert says, "My medication makes me carefree and happy, but the side effect is an exoskeleton." Dilbert continues, "Remember the old saying - 'Beauty is only skin deep.'" He giggles, "Hee hee." Dilbert continues, "But enough about me. I don't want to look shellfish." The woman responds, "You had a chance until the pun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big mouth, #bloated, #employee, #taunting, #toxic co worker

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Headline: The Toxic Co-worker. Toxic Tom approaches Alice and says, "You wouldn't believe what people are saying about you." Toxic Tom continues, "I tried to defend you. I said you look slow only because you're bloated." Toxic Tom continues, "But what ticks me off is that everyone in the department earns more than you do." Alice clenches her teeth and holds back her fist.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsize, #department phone list, #efficient list

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Wally hands The Boss a sheet of paper and says, "I took the initiative and made a list of people you could downsize." The Boss looks at the list and responds, "This is just the department phone list with your name covered up." Wally says, "That's the sort of efficiency that kept me off the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leave work early, #don't walk past, #office of boss, #just from roof, #land in dumpster, #leadership, #cut throat

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.