Long Time Comic Strips - Page 93
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Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.
I'm too busy to learn anything about the projects I'm managing. "I barely have enough time to make critical decisions about them." "Maybe you're lazy and stupid." "Let's go down to the pond and throw rocks at the ducks."
"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."
"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."
Topper "I had to carry over three weeks of vacation." "That's nothing!" "I carried over so much time that they had to create a new month and name it after me!" "Shut your pie hole!" "It looks as if someone is having a bad topperuary."
Dogbert the Lobbyist Dogbert: Congressman, I will give you this bag of money if you vote for tax breaks for my client. Try to be less obvious than the last time. Congressman: Yes! I vote yes! Man: Smooth.
I hear you're a job hopper. "I like to think I have high standards." "Are you aware that all jobs require you to do things you'd rather not do? That's why they have to pay you." "Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic." "I quit! I'm going someplace where my coworkers will never waste my time!!!"