New Rule Comic Strips - Page 93
1000 Results for New Rule
View 921 - 930 results for new rule comic strips. Discover the best "New Rule" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."
The boss says, "Book some one-on-one meetings for me so I can practice my new dismissive scoffing sound." Dilbert says, "?And then I think we should?" The boss says, "Phhht!" Dilbert says, "I like what you've done with your dismissive scoffing sound." The boss says, "20% more spittle!"
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."
Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"
The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"
The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"
The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is always a problem."
Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."
The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."