Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 921 - 930 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 10,
2007
Tags death, reincarnation, snicker part, half man, half snack, studied guided reincarnation, shape shifting, indian institute, technology, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."
Friday December 14,
2007
Tags theoretically impossible, looped back, mobs strip, to- do list, had a pencil
Transcript
Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."
Saturday December 15,
2007
Tags meeting, dont know, creating illusion, work, conflating, concepts, attendence, prodcutivity, business
Transcript
Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"
Tuesday December 18,
2007
Tags dead horse, meeting room, cahir, beating, good work, havnet beaten long enough, introduce
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired a dead horse, he doesn't look like much, but if you beat him long enough, he does good work." Dilbert: "Have you seen him do good work?" The Boss: "I haven't beaten him long enough." "Introduce yourself to the others!" Whap!
Sunday December 23,
2007
Tags management retreat, golfing, swimming, drinking, getting massages, count printer papaer, meaningless work assigned, dead body, Sports
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."
Sunday December 30,
2007
Tags impressive resume, promoted, management, money and pretige, doing less work, opportunity, abuse subordinates, fluent managerese, love interviewing
Transcript
CEO: "Alice, your resume is impressive." "Tell me why you want to be promoted to management." Alice: "Well. Obviously there's the money and prestige." "I'm also attracted by the prospect of doing much less work." "The opportunity to abuse subordinates is a big plus." "And I speak fluent Managerese. Watch this..." "Fuh fuh fuh fuh fuh" Dilbert: "Did you really want that job?" Alice: "No, but I love interviewing!"
Monday December 31,
2007
Tags hate holidays, day before holoday, stop working, cheapens work, year round, mean spirited, bitter worker, hyprocrit
Transcript
Wally: I hate it when people stop working because it's the day before a holiday. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally: "It cheapens the lack of work that I cultivate year-round." Asok: "I saw the funniest video clip!" Wally: "Tourist!"
Tuesday January 01,
2008
Tags day at work, garbage pickup, holiday, interrupted, victory, tainted
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a great day at work. For come reason, no one interrupted me, so I got a lot done. Garbage man: Today is a holiday." Dilbert: All of my victories are tainted."
Wednesday January 02,
2008
Tags day off, empty office, holiday, loser, new years day, work, worked
Transcript
Tina: What did you do for New Year's Day? Dilbert: I forgot it was a holiday and came to work for ten hours." Tina: That's sort of loserish. Dilbert: Thanks for labeling it.
Thursday January 03,
2008
Tags traffic, work, co worker, shopping, week, attractive nuisance
Transcript
secretary: Wally, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Wally: I didn't have time. I spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site. Hey, you can't blame the guy who just uses the attractive nuisance.


